1 00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:14,878 - Who's that? - The new judge. He arrived yesterday. 2 00:00:17,344 --> 00:00:19,765 - Good day to you. - We kiss your hands... 3 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,241 - He's ajudge? - Yes... a judge. 4 00:00:25,472 --> 00:00:28,952 - Is he dangerous? - No, no... he's a gentleman. 5 00:00:29,056 --> 00:00:31,195 Why did you speak so quietly then? 6 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:35,070 Moron, because I got a cold! I lost my voice! 7 00:00:43,616 --> 00:00:49,814 GIOVANNONA LONG-THIGH, HONORABLY DISHONORED 8 00:00:55,521 --> 00:00:58,489 You're a local, what weather can we expect? 9 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,763 What would I know? 10 00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:23,872 Hold this, Laganà... 11 00:01:24,610 --> 00:01:26,879 What barbarians! 12 00:01:35,010 --> 00:01:37,792 - This needs analysing immediately... - Drugs? 13 00:01:37,922 --> 00:01:41,883 No, dirty river water. Send it to the Catania hygiene office. 14 00:01:42,114 --> 00:01:43,609 Will do. 15 00:02:22,019 --> 00:02:23,612 Come in. 16 00:02:24,195 --> 00:02:25,821 Good day, judge. 17 00:02:25,955 --> 00:02:29,370 The Catania report has come, the water analysis. 18 00:02:29,475 --> 00:02:33,883 - Good, have you read it? - Yes, it says the water's polluted. 19 00:02:34,019 --> 00:02:37,848 What a surprise, we didn't need Catania rocket science to learn that! 20 00:02:38,051 --> 00:02:39,742 I want to know the cause. 21 00:02:39,843 --> 00:02:44,251 The report talks of dangerous colored substances. 22 00:02:44,483 --> 00:02:47,134 The pollution is caused by industrial effluent. 23 00:02:47,332 --> 00:02:50,081 It probably comes from a paint factory. 24 00:02:50,243 --> 00:02:52,632 Great, we'll strike immediately... 25 00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:56,220 You're local, do you know of a factory near the river? 26 00:02:56,324 --> 00:03:00,415 As far as I know there's only one... the cheese factory. 27 00:03:00,739 --> 00:03:02,495 The Straccolone?! 28 00:03:06,308 --> 00:03:08,446 SCANDAL IN SICILY 29 00:03:08,900 --> 00:03:10,788 JUDGE FINDS POLLUTED STREAM 30 00:03:10,852 --> 00:03:12,761 COMING FROM CHEESE FACTORY 31 00:03:12,965 --> 00:03:15,169 STRACCOLONE FACTORY ORDERED SHUT 32 00:03:15,684 --> 00:03:19,841 IS CHEESE TOXIC? INVESTIGATION UNDER WAY 33 00:03:20,837 --> 00:03:24,132 THE STRACCOLONE SCANDAL 34 00:03:36,837 --> 00:03:39,226 ITALIAN SKYSCRAPER 35 00:03:40,933 --> 00:03:44,926 Commander La Noce is in his office and unavailable. 36 00:03:45,029 --> 00:03:48,324 I repeat, he's busy. Try calling tomorrow. 37 00:04:30,982 --> 00:04:34,080 Careful, that typewriter can give you a shock. 38 00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:49,574 Albertini! 39 00:04:54,630 --> 00:04:56,256 Albertini! 40 00:04:56,327 --> 00:04:57,985 Where are you?! 41 00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:02,371 - Tell me, s-s-sir... - Albertini, try to relax. 42 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:06,627 If you get upset you stutter, and if you stutter I get upset, ok? 43 00:05:06,727 --> 00:05:09,727 - Yes, sir... - Give me a cigarette. 44 00:05:23,399 --> 00:05:25,920 - They're finished... - Ok, forget it. 45 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:28,897 Have you found that "honorable" whatever? 46 00:05:29,032 --> 00:05:32,709 I spent two days on the phone, got cramps in my fingers... 47 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:35,301 ...all the "honorables" in Italy have vanished. 48 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:39,526 I knew it! The moment people need their representatives... 49 00:05:39,655 --> 00:05:45,569 We have to find honorable Mr. Zuzzu, he always helps us! 50 00:05:45,672 --> 00:05:47,166 - I did. - Did he hit you? 51 00:05:47,272 --> 00:05:49,541 - Yes, with a pot. - Were you in a kitchen? 52 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:53,634 No, a clinic... it was ceramic, what they call a chamber pot. 53 00:05:53,736 --> 00:05:55,624 - Is he sick? - Hepatitis. 54 00:05:55,752 --> 00:05:57,607 He says it was ourfree samples. 55 00:05:57,704 --> 00:06:00,966 Damn, you know you shouldn't eat our cheese! 56 00:06:01,096 --> 00:06:05,319 What could I do? Our brochure is our only edible product! 57 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,626 It's too late now... 58 00:06:06,729 --> 00:06:11,071 Sure! You're relaxed because you don't give a damn! 59 00:06:11,176 --> 00:06:15,519 But if we go bust, your butt's on the street too! 60 00:06:15,721 --> 00:06:20,510 Try laughing when you're in shit up to here. 61 00:06:20,936 --> 00:06:22,627 - I'm sorry, the b-b-b... - You're an idiot! 62 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:24,804 - What?! - Commander... 63 00:06:24,969 --> 00:06:26,595 Were you eavesdropping? 64 00:06:26,729 --> 00:06:29,664 Do you want to know how we are? Awful, my beauty! 65 00:06:29,801 --> 00:06:34,984 But you'll be fine, with those tits, you've no need to worry! 66 00:06:35,176 --> 00:06:38,243 But I'm off! I'll go abroad, emigrate! 67 00:06:38,377 --> 00:06:41,955 I'll go to Mexico, Peru, Lake Titicaca! 68 00:06:43,145 --> 00:06:44,869 - "Titi" who? - Who knows? 69 00:06:45,001 --> 00:06:47,652 To think I could be on television now. 70 00:06:47,881 --> 00:06:50,849 - As an employee? - No, a p-p-presenter. 71 00:06:50,986 --> 00:06:53,287 - I sat the exam! - How did it go? 72 00:06:53,385 --> 00:06:56,233 - G-g-great! - Why didn't they take you? 73 00:06:56,361 --> 00:06:59,012 They say I'm an a-a-anarchist! 74 00:07:10,345 --> 00:07:12,549 What on earth are you doing?! 75 00:07:12,873 --> 00:07:14,466 Go rest in peace! 76 00:07:14,666 --> 00:07:16,357 - Can't you sleep? - No! 77 00:07:16,490 --> 00:07:19,938 I won't be the only one staying awake tonight. 78 00:07:20,042 --> 00:07:22,115 I realized that! 79 00:07:31,563 --> 00:07:34,051 - Hello! - Hello, who's there? 80 00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:37,253 - Albertini? - You sound far away... 81 00:07:37,354 --> 00:07:38,849 Albertini! 82 00:07:41,482 --> 00:07:45,955 - Hello? - I knew it! You were sleeping, right? 83 00:07:46,059 --> 00:07:50,314 No, not at all! Who sleeps at 2 AM? 84 00:07:50,411 --> 00:07:54,858 I don't care, I'm awake! How are we doing with Pedicò! 85 00:07:54,893 --> 00:07:56,647 - With who? - With Pedicò! 86 00:07:56,778 --> 00:07:58,469 - Who's he? - Idiot! 87 00:07:58,571 --> 00:08:01,440 Two years ago he was industry under-secretary. 88 00:08:01,579 --> 00:08:05,353 He's an important politician, might become a minister... 89 00:08:05,515 --> 00:08:10,218 ...and we don't know him! We have to woo certain people... 90 00:08:10,443 --> 00:08:14,021 ...as you woo beautiful women! 91 00:08:14,315 --> 00:08:18,592 You're right, but with P-Pedicò we have an advantage... 92 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:19,976 ...we're still virgins. 93 00:08:20,075 --> 00:08:23,239 You won't be for long, one of these days I'll bust your ass! 94 00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:27,333 No! "Virgins" in the sense that Pedicò still hasn't received... 95 00:08:27,499 --> 00:08:31,274 ...ourfree samples! - Right, that's true... 96 00:08:31,372 --> 00:08:36,740 ...but how can we reach him? - Through someone in his party. 97 00:08:38,988 --> 00:08:40,744 Wait, wait! 98 00:08:45,132 --> 00:08:47,434 Marta, will you let me have it? 99 00:08:47,564 --> 00:08:51,655 Holy Mother, don't tempt me! I'm doing 40 hours... 100 00:08:51,788 --> 00:08:55,137 Who cares, do six days if you want... 101 00:08:55,276 --> 00:08:57,164 ...do Milan-Sanremo, or whatever comes to mind! 102 00:08:57,357 --> 00:09:01,579 Hello, Albertini? I've had an idea... Albertini? 103 00:09:01,772 --> 00:09:04,871 - Moron! - Hello, who am I talking to? 104 00:09:04,973 --> 00:09:07,940 Damn you! Are you asleep? 105 00:09:08,045 --> 00:09:13,315 - No, I'm an insomniac! - Good. I've had an idea. 106 00:09:13,421 --> 00:09:16,323 Do you remember Monsignor Alatri, he organized "Kids Cityy"? 107 00:09:16,429 --> 00:09:19,276 - I was about to mention him! - I did instead! 108 00:09:20,045 --> 00:09:21,387 We have to find him immediately. 109 00:09:21,613 --> 00:09:24,581 I want to see him tomorrow. Call him at Rocca Pizzo... 110 00:09:24,813 --> 00:09:26,755 ...and book twwo flights for Catania. 111 00:09:26,989 --> 00:09:32,390 - Call now, at 2 AM? - Sure... you're the insomniac. 112 00:09:34,477 --> 00:09:38,438 Yes... but not the monsignor! 113 00:09:43,245 --> 00:09:46,693 Don't call long distance, I pay the phone bill. 114 00:09:50,862 --> 00:09:54,408 - How was your flight? - Wonderful, monsignor... 115 00:09:54,509 --> 00:09:59,179 ...a marvellous one hour. It's longer from Catania to here! 116 00:09:59,278 --> 00:10:04,587 What a lovely day... Would you like a 'cannolo'? 117 00:10:04,622 --> 00:10:08,812 No, don't tempt me... your offer is generous, however. 118 00:10:09,006 --> 00:10:10,894 I hope your wife doesn't mind... 119 00:10:10,990 --> 00:10:14,535 Why should my wife mind if I eat an extra 'cannolo'? 120 00:10:14,670 --> 00:10:18,052 I was referring to the land you made available for "Kids City". 121 00:10:18,222 --> 00:10:20,011 Right, I'd forgotten... 122 00:10:20,175 --> 00:10:23,273 - It's also your wife's, right? - Yes, of course... 123 00:10:23,503 --> 00:10:25,924 But as you know, Marta is a very devout woman. 124 00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:30,315 This comforts me greatly. Clotilde, could you get the file, please... 125 00:10:30,479 --> 00:10:31,821 Immediately, monsignor... 126 00:10:32,047 --> 00:10:34,862 I don't think she'll oppose this small formality... 127 00:10:35,086 --> 00:10:38,086 - What is it? - A binding commitment... 128 00:10:38,703 --> 00:10:41,932 Your secretary mentioned the reason for your visit... 129 00:10:42,062 --> 00:10:45,478 ...so I prepared a small statement. 130 00:10:45,615 --> 00:10:47,306 I see you don't waste time... 131 00:10:47,407 --> 00:10:51,815 My motto is, "The paths to paradise are infinite, and should be walked well." 132 00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:54,028 That's a good one! 133 00:10:54,063 --> 00:10:59,017 - Would you care to sign? - Yes, yes, no, no, but... 134 00:10:59,247 --> 00:11:02,094 ...I don't have a pen! - Here, a Japanese double-tip! 135 00:11:02,191 --> 00:11:05,770 - Writes 24 hours non-stop. - Great... you son of a bitch! 136 00:11:05,871 --> 00:11:10,378 24 hours non-stop, Japanese double-tip... here, monsignor. 137 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:13,327 I'd like to take advantage of this meeting to ask your advice... 138 00:11:13,424 --> 00:11:15,944 He already knows, commander... 139 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:20,495 - Did you tell him? - No, everyone knows your problem... 140 00:11:20,656 --> 00:11:26,286 It's all lies! Chemical products are only used to purify... 141 00:11:26,416 --> 00:11:29,995 If you can find one gram of that stuff in our Straccolone... 142 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:33,226 ...I'll become a priest! I mean... it's slanderous! 143 00:11:33,424 --> 00:11:37,996 Sure, but in cases like this you need top-level backing... 144 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:41,608 - We thought of Honorable Pedicò... - An excellent choice. 145 00:11:42,416 --> 00:11:45,765 He's a devout Christian, a man of rare virtue. 146 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:51,655 He lives in a country villa with his wife MariaAnnunziata, known as Mary. 147 00:11:51,792 --> 00:11:52,970 - Awoman of great... - Virtue? 148 00:11:53,137 --> 00:11:54,315 No, stature. 149 00:11:54,512 --> 00:11:56,934 They're often accompanied by his secretary, Eufemia... 150 00:11:57,073 --> 00:12:00,270 ...and attend midday mass every Sunday. 151 00:12:00,305 --> 00:12:05,094 Carmelo Pedicò is the right man, his power is unlimited. 152 00:12:05,232 --> 00:12:08,910 His word is law, his wishes command... 153 00:12:09,041 --> 00:12:11,758 In the Rocca Pizzo province, come fair weather orfoul. 154 00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:13,937 So, if it rains tomorrow we'll know who to blame! 155 00:12:13,972 --> 00:12:17,286 We'll have no problem finding him on Sunday. 156 00:12:17,393 --> 00:12:21,425 - There are other problems... - Why, is he stubborn, a crook? 157 00:12:21,460 --> 00:12:23,727 - No, he's honest... - Then it's done! 158 00:12:53,618 --> 00:12:58,091 Honorable Pedicò! May I have a word? 159 00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:01,806 Ah, monsignor! Wait in the car, Mary... 160 00:13:02,386 --> 00:13:03,630 Come with me... 161 00:13:03,731 --> 00:13:06,862 Honorable, I wanted to introduce twwo dearfriends... 162 00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:10,442 ...Commander La Noce and accountantAIbertini, his secretary. 163 00:13:10,547 --> 00:13:12,816 My secretary, Eufemia. 164 00:13:12,979 --> 00:13:16,841 Commander La Noce is president of Straccolone, the cheese factory... 165 00:13:17,042 --> 00:13:20,785 ...currently, as you know, the victim of a regrettable circumstance. 166 00:13:21,011 --> 00:13:25,422 Sadly Italy has 116,000 regrettable circumstances every day! 167 00:13:25,457 --> 00:13:29,834 - I beg you, sir, you can do a lot... - I'm merely a deputy... 168 00:13:29,971 --> 00:13:32,010 Yes, but everyone says you are a fat... 169 00:13:32,243 --> 00:13:36,945 ...I mean, a faithful interpreter of people's needs, soon to be a minister. 170 00:13:37,075 --> 00:13:41,167 I thank you for the thought. The elections will be soon... 171 00:13:41,299 --> 00:13:45,936 ...and all will be clear! I'm sorry, my wife is waiting in the car. 172 00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:48,523 - Let me accompany you. - Thank you... 173 00:13:48,659 --> 00:13:50,895 - Another stitch up! - Really? 174 00:13:50,995 --> 00:13:53,450 Didn't you hear? He wants to establish the truth. 175 00:13:53,588 --> 00:13:57,384 Commander, we need to make a drastic decision. 176 00:13:57,492 --> 00:14:02,380 - Don't say stupid things... - I didn't say anything stupid. 177 00:14:09,171 --> 00:14:11,692 I knew it would end like that! 178 00:14:13,332 --> 00:14:15,536 That priest made a fool of me! 179 00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:19,275 He took the land, and we haven't heard from Pedicò since! 180 00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:24,202 - It's been three days already! - Pedicò must have some flaw... 181 00:14:24,532 --> 00:14:27,630 ...if we find his weak point, we're there! 182 00:14:27,764 --> 00:14:32,659 You spoke without stuttering, but nonsense as usual! 183 00:14:32,694 --> 00:14:37,554 I know everything about Pedicò's past and present... 184 00:14:38,132 --> 00:14:41,198 He doesn't steal, doesn't speculate, has no illegitimate children... 185 00:14:41,364 --> 00:14:44,234 ...doesn't blackmail, smuggle, or take drugs... 186 00:14:44,373 --> 00:14:48,432 ...and despite being Sicilian, he's not even mafia! 187 00:14:48,981 --> 00:14:50,956 What an awful man! 188 00:14:54,453 --> 00:14:57,682 - Who is it? - A priestfrom Monsignor Alatri. 189 00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,661 Send him in! 190 00:15:01,845 --> 00:15:06,122 Our man from heaven has come. Open, quickly... 191 00:15:06,837 --> 00:15:08,370 Please... 192 00:15:08,405 --> 00:15:10,642 Good day. Commander La Noce? 193 00:15:10,773 --> 00:15:12,813 Yes, that's me, take a seat... 194 00:15:13,109 --> 00:15:16,241 So, MonsignorAlatri, any news? 195 00:15:17,014 --> 00:15:19,534 Actually, I'm not sure I can speak... 196 00:15:19,638 --> 00:15:23,500 Speak freely, these are my collaborators... unfortunately. 197 00:15:23,605 --> 00:15:26,834 I have an explosive document on your honorable gentleman... 198 00:15:26,997 --> 00:15:30,227 - Pedicò?! - I can't name him... 199 00:15:30,421 --> 00:15:33,040 I knew that honorable man, who we can't name... 200 00:15:33,270 --> 00:15:38,092 ...had an A-A-Achille's heel! 201 00:15:39,062 --> 00:15:41,549 This is engineer De Vitis, our honorable helped him obtain... 202 00:15:41,654 --> 00:15:44,469 ...the famous Riva dei Ciclopi construction project. 203 00:15:45,974 --> 00:15:48,462 This is engineer de Vitis' wife... 204 00:15:49,526 --> 00:15:52,428 Oh, my gooooosh! 205 00:15:53,462 --> 00:15:55,731 - I have to change... - No! Oh, please. 206 00:15:55,958 --> 00:15:59,733 This is professor Tamigiani, our honorable helped make him head... 207 00:15:59,863 --> 00:16:02,896 ...of a Palermo clinic, even though, as a doctor, Tamigiani... 208 00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:06,445 ...is p-p-pitiful! 209 00:16:07,703 --> 00:16:10,453 This is professor Tamigiani's wife... 210 00:16:10,583 --> 00:16:13,398 - Holy fuck! - Behind me, Satan! 211 00:16:13,622 --> 00:16:14,899 Move ahead, reverend! 212 00:16:15,511 --> 00:16:16,915 This is professor Voccia... 213 00:16:16,950 --> 00:16:19,667 ...our honorable helped him obtain an exclusive patent... 214 00:16:19,767 --> 00:16:22,451 ...worth 200 million. 215 00:16:24,887 --> 00:16:28,596 This is Mrs. Voccia, may God keep her safe! 216 00:16:54,072 --> 00:16:56,406 What a guy, this Honorable Pedicò! 217 00:16:57,304 --> 00:16:59,573 He has a weakness for other men's wives. 218 00:17:00,568 --> 00:17:05,423 - Commander, we're riding a winner! - Albertini, dismount and think. 219 00:17:05,559 --> 00:17:08,935 What can I do, send my wife to sleep with our honorable? 220 00:17:08,970 --> 00:17:12,312 Knowing your wife, you'd do better to send the monsignor! 221 00:17:12,347 --> 00:17:15,214 Albertini, you must be exhausted... 222 00:17:15,352 --> 00:17:18,549 ...take two days' vacation! 223 00:17:18,648 --> 00:17:23,383 - Commander, I've an idea. - This time I'll shoot you! 224 00:17:23,481 --> 00:17:27,375 Listen... your wife's all "church and home", no one knows her... 225 00:17:27,512 --> 00:17:30,644 What's to stop us replacing her with another woman? 226 00:17:30,744 --> 00:17:35,218 For example, with a beautiful girl like our Luisella... 227 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,946 Engineer, you've gone crazy! 228 00:17:37,048 --> 00:17:39,863 My boyfriend plays basketball and he's six foot four! 229 00:17:39,961 --> 00:17:43,791 Ask him, if you dare! Commander, may I go? 230 00:17:44,025 --> 00:17:46,446 Good night! What's got into you? 231 00:17:46,585 --> 00:17:50,382 It was just a hypothesis... do you know how many I can find, better than her? 232 00:17:50,457 --> 00:17:53,840 I have a simple, infallible plan! 233 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,942 Friday night Pedicò takes the sleeper train for Rocca Pizzo... 234 00:17:57,049 --> 00:18:01,838 ...we find a beautiful girl who gets on the same train with you... 235 00:18:01,946 --> 00:18:04,663 ...who you introduce as your wife! Have I been clear? 236 00:18:04,762 --> 00:18:08,656 You didn't stutter this time either, though it's not a bad idea! 237 00:18:09,049 --> 00:18:13,272 - Can you find the right girl? - If I don't, I'll cut my... 238 00:18:13,402 --> 00:18:17,199 - I'll hold you to it! - Not those... I'll cut my hair! 239 00:18:18,073 --> 00:18:21,903 With modern technology, all it takes is a button! 240 00:18:26,778 --> 00:18:28,665 - Hello, can I help? - Well, I'd like... 241 00:18:28,794 --> 00:18:31,128 - Car, home or boat? - A"Girl Friday". 242 00:18:31,258 --> 00:18:33,745 - Be clear. - A"girl for all boyfriends". 243 00:18:33,850 --> 00:18:36,403 - Explain. - A loose woman... 244 00:18:36,507 --> 00:18:38,394 - Be clear. - Aslut, ok?! 245 00:18:38,490 --> 00:18:40,246 Fine, last on the left. 246 00:18:45,947 --> 00:18:48,816 - Good day. - How can I help you? 247 00:18:48,954 --> 00:18:50,612 The woman on information sent me... 248 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:54,456 ...I'm looking for a special friend. - Tell me your preferences... 249 00:18:54,554 --> 00:18:57,456 Tall, short, thin, rotund, blonde, red, brunette? 250 00:18:57,563 --> 00:19:00,662 Actually, it's not for me, it's for a friend... 251 00:19:00,762 --> 00:19:02,453 Don't you know your friend's tastes? 252 00:19:02,586 --> 00:19:06,481 - She must be Swed... - Swedish? 253 00:19:06,619 --> 00:19:11,441 No, a sweetie. One who makes you book heart treatment on sight. 254 00:19:11,707 --> 00:19:13,878 I see, leave it to me... 255 00:19:15,067 --> 00:19:17,717 Blonde, busty, 5 foot 8... 256 00:19:18,235 --> 00:19:21,050 Ah, sorry, she has to be a good t-t-talker... 257 00:19:21,179 --> 00:19:23,568 We'll put "good, quick tongue". 258 00:19:24,059 --> 00:19:25,401 Perfect! 259 00:19:27,259 --> 00:19:33,239 We're searching Turin to Venice. That's the best area. 260 00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:37,398 The electronic brain will reply in 10 seconds... 261 00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:42,193 See how quick it is? 262 00:19:42,428 --> 00:19:49,302 Miss G.R., number 116, will fly Alitalia from Milan at 15:10 hours... 263 00:19:49,404 --> 00:19:53,081 ...arriving Rome 16:10. 264 00:20:12,636 --> 00:20:17,077 - Are you sure you'll recognize her? - No, we've never met... 265 00:20:17,212 --> 00:20:21,467 So what do we do, stop every blonde on sight? 266 00:20:21,597 --> 00:20:25,459 We're in the hands of the electronic brain, its organization is perfect. 267 00:20:25,565 --> 00:20:30,005 The girl will go to the news-stand and buy a copy of "Corriere di Brescia". 268 00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:32,410 O - o - o... 269 00:20:32,445 --> 00:20:33,721 - O-o... - Of course, over there... 270 00:20:33,821 --> 00:20:35,763 No, I mean, oh fuck! 271 00:20:47,389 --> 00:20:50,553 - That must be her... - Relax, we'll know in a moment. 272 00:20:50,654 --> 00:20:54,396 - The "Giornale di Bergamo", please. - Isn't "Corriere di Brescia" better? 273 00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:57,491 - Why? - Bergamo and Brescia are neighbors, no? 274 00:20:59,486 --> 00:21:00,827 No. 275 00:21:04,446 --> 00:21:06,868 When you make love, do you talk to your husband? 276 00:21:07,037 --> 00:21:08,860 Only if he phones... 277 00:21:20,190 --> 00:21:22,230 The "Giornale di Brescia", please... 278 00:21:22,334 --> 00:21:23,709 Thanks. 279 00:21:26,238 --> 00:21:30,461 - Are you from Brescia? - Yes, I'm Mr. G.R. 116. 280 00:21:30,558 --> 00:21:34,781 - Incredible! - What?! I'll take our honorable this? 281 00:21:34,911 --> 00:21:37,627 Honorables are fine by me, I'm not fussy. 282 00:21:37,662 --> 00:21:40,891 Impossible, the electronic brain never makes mistakes. 283 00:21:41,023 --> 00:21:43,805 You're right, the mistake is all mine. 284 00:21:43,934 --> 00:21:47,546 I've been a mistake since my father conceived me. 285 00:21:47,614 --> 00:21:50,963 Laugh away. Your father hardly got you right! 286 00:21:54,591 --> 00:21:58,868 Right, an electronic brain with balls of ricotta cheese! 287 00:21:58,974 --> 00:22:02,619 If I'd asked for a liquidizer, they'd have sent an aircraft carrier! 288 00:22:02,719 --> 00:22:07,356 It's not like I wanted a harpist, or a Chinese translator... 289 00:22:07,487 --> 00:22:09,276 ...damn, all I wanted was a slut! 290 00:22:10,559 --> 00:22:14,007 291 00:22:14,176 --> 00:22:17,689 292 00:22:21,375 --> 00:22:22,717 Hi! 293 00:22:22,816 --> 00:22:26,711 These girls have picked a bad road... no one passes here! 294 00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:29,334 Hey boy, are you afraid of us? 295 00:22:30,047 --> 00:22:31,356 No... 296 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,549 I can't take him one who does this for a "living"... 297 00:22:36,896 --> 00:22:39,198 Far from "living", she'd have us "dead". 298 00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:44,381 If I present her as Mrs. La Noce, all "church and home"... 299 00:22:44,544 --> 00:22:47,479 ...Honorable Pedicò will turn Muslim! 300 00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:49,656 Darling, fancy a tickle? 301 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,015 Go on, there's no tax! 302 00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:30,815 - Are you expecting anyone? - Yes, clients. 303 00:23:31,905 --> 00:23:34,425 - You look new... - I am. 304 00:23:34,849 --> 00:23:38,461 Great, just what I was looking for... Hop in! 305 00:23:38,914 --> 00:23:43,671 - 5,000 lira. - Is that all?! Come on, hop in! 306 00:23:54,593 --> 00:23:57,692 - What are you ca-ca-called? - Coco. 307 00:23:57,825 --> 00:24:00,825 - Are you shittin' me? - No, my name's Coco. 308 00:24:01,442 --> 00:24:03,831 Coco... the name's not important... 309 00:24:03,938 --> 00:24:09,153 Listen, would you like to earn a b-b-bunch of money? 310 00:24:09,282 --> 00:24:12,860 - Robertuzzo said 5,000. - Who? Ah, your guy... 311 00:24:13,475 --> 00:24:17,304 If I offer 400,000 for two days' work... 312 00:24:17,378 --> 00:24:20,542 ...would Robertuzzo be co-co... - I'm Coco! 313 00:24:20,643 --> 00:24:24,898 - Co-content, I meant! - Uh... 314 00:24:25,026 --> 00:24:28,343 You don't talk much? Good, I like that! 315 00:24:28,482 --> 00:24:33,858 Awoman who ta-ta... I'll tell you later! 316 00:24:33,893 --> 00:24:37,470 So, will you do two days for me? 317 00:24:37,923 --> 00:24:39,646 - Well, ok... - Adeal? 318 00:24:39,875 --> 00:24:43,672 - What about Robertuzzo? - Don't worry, I'll handle him... 319 00:24:43,811 --> 00:24:47,356 We'll write him a note and leave it at his house... 320 00:24:47,459 --> 00:24:52,445 That'll keep it betwween us twwo... as the French say, "entraineuse"! 321 00:24:58,723 --> 00:25:00,152 Come in, come... 322 00:25:00,899 --> 00:25:02,557 To the left. 323 00:25:03,203 --> 00:25:04,697 I'll show you... 324 00:25:05,475 --> 00:25:07,133 I used to share with mother... 325 00:25:07,203 --> 00:25:11,426 ...then she went home. Make yourself at home... 326 00:25:12,388 --> 00:25:16,796 God your house is a mess! We'll fix it up later... 327 00:25:22,916 --> 00:25:27,738 Are you a speed queen, or something? This is Rome, not the Monza Grand Prix! 328 00:25:28,132 --> 00:25:30,401 Not talking's fine, but do you need to strip without warning? 329 00:25:30,628 --> 00:25:34,884 You're Commander La Noce's wife now, you have to dress like a dove... 330 00:25:35,012 --> 00:25:39,006 You only strip when Pedicò starts to chat you up... 331 00:25:39,940 --> 00:25:43,169 Coco, are you getting this? 332 00:25:47,557 --> 00:25:50,142 We have to hurry, the train leaves at 7:00... 333 00:25:50,212 --> 00:25:53,824 Wait, I'll go buy you some lady's clothes. 334 00:25:53,957 --> 00:25:55,680 Let's get your measurements... 335 00:26:00,356 --> 00:26:02,244 98... 336 00:26:03,045 --> 00:26:05,947 98... to think that from these breasts... 337 00:26:06,085 --> 00:26:08,027 ...depends the life of one hundred men! 338 00:26:08,101 --> 00:26:10,752 - A hundred? - You don't need to feed them directly! 339 00:26:10,885 --> 00:26:14,365 Once you get under Pedicò, they'll all go back to work... 340 00:26:15,557 --> 00:26:17,411 110. 341 00:26:18,533 --> 00:26:22,395 Oh my God... I'm tempted to screw it all! 342 00:26:24,101 --> 00:26:26,851 - Hello? - You moron, where the fuck are you? 343 00:26:26,981 --> 00:26:30,080 Wait, before getting angry you should see... 344 00:26:30,181 --> 00:26:32,036 What the hell have you done?! 345 00:26:32,166 --> 00:26:36,955 - We're cha-cha... - Have you got a girl, or not? 346 00:26:37,606 --> 00:26:41,729 - Yes... she's beautiful. - Albertini! 347 00:26:41,829 --> 00:26:47,678 Beautiful, real, ca-caressable! 348 00:26:55,430 --> 00:26:57,885 - You're such a sweetie! - Me? 349 00:26:58,022 --> 00:27:00,739 Yeah, sweet and righteous! 350 00:27:01,318 --> 00:27:06,501 With ajohn like you, I'd be the happiestwhore in the world! 351 00:27:10,406 --> 00:27:15,840 - You can't talk like that! - Why not? Robertuzzo never minded! 352 00:27:18,855 --> 00:27:20,830 What the fuck's wrong with you? 353 00:27:22,854 --> 00:27:28,037 - Shit, I never noticed your language! - You know, I'm very shy... 354 00:27:28,422 --> 00:27:31,008 But with you, I feel free to say what I like! 355 00:27:31,111 --> 00:27:33,347 Shut up already! 356 00:27:33,447 --> 00:27:39,328 You sure know how to make a woman like me feel good... 357 00:27:39,559 --> 00:27:42,596 - The total opposite of Robertuzzo! - Coco, shut up! 358 00:27:42,631 --> 00:27:46,854 When he gets something up his ass, he beats the shit out of me... 359 00:27:46,983 --> 00:27:51,555 Coco, we're in trouble! You can't be the commander's wife! 360 00:27:51,815 --> 00:27:54,466 You know what? I don't fucking care... 361 00:27:54,791 --> 00:27:58,140 - It's you I like... - Oh my God! 362 00:27:58,375 --> 00:28:00,644 I should make her eat a dictionary! 363 00:28:00,776 --> 00:28:02,182 Albertini! 364 00:28:02,664 --> 00:28:03,814 Where are you going?! 365 00:28:03,816 --> 00:28:08,573 At last! Splendid, truly splendid! Enchanting! 366 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,357 Commander, she's a d-d... 367 00:28:12,488 --> 00:28:17,160 - I can tell, delightful! - Commander, are you on this train too? 368 00:28:17,195 --> 00:28:21,252 Yes, a sudden business trip, something important... 369 00:28:21,352 --> 00:28:24,997 ...let me introduce my wife. - An honor, madam... 370 00:28:25,192 --> 00:28:26,654 My compliments to your beauty! 371 00:28:26,888 --> 00:28:30,084 And my secretary, actually, my right arm... 372 00:28:30,153 --> 00:28:33,253 An incomparable, irreplaceable man... 373 00:28:33,288 --> 00:28:37,444 ...but for him I would have missed the train and the deal... 374 00:28:37,544 --> 00:28:41,439 - Commander, l-l-I... - You what?! 375 00:28:41,544 --> 00:28:43,813 - We need to talk! - What's up now? 376 00:28:44,072 --> 00:28:45,828 I'll tell you! 377 00:28:45,961 --> 00:28:50,151 - Don't shove, are you crazy?! - I need to be alone with you! 378 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,774 I don't want to be alone with you! 379 00:28:52,809 --> 00:28:56,965 I'll make you want to... it's important, really! 380 00:28:57,192 --> 00:28:59,331 Ma'am, go back to your grave, please! 381 00:29:05,065 --> 00:29:11,394 No! No! I've been cursed since I met you! 382 00:29:13,033 --> 00:29:15,521 Hi there, auntie! 383 00:29:15,689 --> 00:29:18,209 Let's hope war breaks out and you're my nurse! 384 00:29:18,377 --> 00:29:22,854 - God you're beautiful! - Wanna meet my little brother? 385 00:29:22,889 --> 00:29:27,332 Bring your hat here, sweetie, you're on the wrong train! 386 00:29:27,561 --> 00:29:29,023 Stop that! 387 00:29:29,514 --> 00:29:32,034 - Get inside, move! - Get your hands off me! 388 00:29:32,202 --> 00:29:34,112 - You'll pay for this! - Yeah, sure... 389 00:29:36,618 --> 00:29:40,993 Idiot, at the last moment you tell me it won't work... why?! 390 00:29:41,226 --> 00:29:43,648 Every second word she says "fuck" four times! 391 00:29:43,882 --> 00:29:49,217 No I don't! The "fucks" are yours! All I said was I like you... 392 00:29:49,354 --> 00:29:52,037 But I'll still do the work... 393 00:29:52,138 --> 00:29:56,416 With the commander, the honorable, the station master, who the fuck ever! 394 00:29:56,522 --> 00:30:00,930 - Does she always speak like that? - No, worse! 395 00:30:01,707 --> 00:30:04,162 Didn't you realize earlier? 396 00:30:04,266 --> 00:30:06,852 I was looking for a stunner, not a Nobel winner! 397 00:30:06,955 --> 00:30:09,770 - Throw her off the train! - What?! 398 00:30:12,138 --> 00:30:13,797 It's too late, now... 399 00:30:14,602 --> 00:30:17,352 - You're fired immediately! - On the train? 400 00:30:17,451 --> 00:30:19,338 - Yes. - Fired on a speeding train? 401 00:30:19,402 --> 00:30:21,791 - Yes! - I see... 402 00:30:21,867 --> 00:30:24,682 I'm a failure, I've no more reason to live! 403 00:30:24,875 --> 00:30:26,631 Give me a rope! 404 00:30:26,731 --> 00:30:28,040 To hang yourself? 405 00:30:28,171 --> 00:30:30,724 No, to stop that bag falling on my head! 406 00:30:30,923 --> 00:30:33,159 Fuck you and the bag! 407 00:30:39,531 --> 00:30:42,827 Ah, honorable, are you on this train too? 408 00:30:42,923 --> 00:30:45,312 Like every Friday... 409 00:30:45,547 --> 00:30:50,818 Lemon juice with a dash of bicarbonate and sugar, please... 410 00:30:50,956 --> 00:30:53,225 ...and a Fernet for the lady. 411 00:30:53,451 --> 00:30:56,386 Honorable, this is your day for meetings! 412 00:30:56,524 --> 00:31:00,485 First lawyer Rossi, then Colonel Maccicché, and now La Noce! 413 00:31:00,587 --> 00:31:05,541 - Do you know La Noce, sir? - La Noce... do we know La Noce? 414 00:31:05,644 --> 00:31:10,183 Yes, sir, the Roman industrialist with a cheese factory in Rocca Pizzo. 415 00:31:10,316 --> 00:31:14,408 Monsignor Alatri mentioned him, so we met him... 416 00:31:14,828 --> 00:31:15,978 Did we speak? 417 00:31:16,012 --> 00:31:20,103 Yes, one Sunday after mass, a very interesting person. 418 00:31:20,332 --> 00:31:26,922 Now I recall. An industrialist with a rather regrettable situation... 419 00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:28,579 But you should see his wife! 420 00:31:29,804 --> 00:31:31,714 - Beautiful? - Amazing! 421 00:31:31,852 --> 00:31:34,307 - Haven't you met? - I haven't had the honor... 422 00:31:34,413 --> 00:31:38,603 - She's a marvel! - Her husband must be very jealous! 423 00:31:38,732 --> 00:31:41,034 In fact, he keeps her hidden! 424 00:31:41,165 --> 00:31:45,802 He must come to diner, he must bring her to the dining car. 425 00:31:50,477 --> 00:31:55,333 I'll get you sandwiches, but don't move from here. 426 00:31:55,437 --> 00:31:59,561 - Good luck... - You too, honorable... 427 00:31:59,661 --> 00:32:01,898 - Goodbye... - Your Fernet Branca. 428 00:32:02,157 --> 00:32:04,012 - Hi. - Hi... 429 00:32:07,405 --> 00:32:10,821 - Commander La Noce... - Commander La Noce! 430 00:32:10,958 --> 00:32:14,733 - My dear sir! - We were just talking of you... 431 00:32:14,830 --> 00:32:16,488 I hope it was something good! 432 00:32:16,685 --> 00:32:20,580 Don't be modest, how could one talk otherwise of you? 433 00:32:20,717 --> 00:32:24,460 - You're an exquisite woman - Why haven't we heard from you? 434 00:32:24,590 --> 00:32:27,885 - I didn't want to bother your... - You're no bother. 435 00:32:28,014 --> 00:32:33,033 In fact, to show my friendship, I invite you and your wife to dinner. 436 00:32:33,582 --> 00:32:37,259 My... my wife? Really? 437 00:32:37,358 --> 00:32:40,041 We know she's traveling on this train... 438 00:32:40,142 --> 00:32:42,379 ...and you keep her "hidden". 439 00:32:42,606 --> 00:32:44,995 I hope you won't insult me by refusing! 440 00:32:45,102 --> 00:32:47,950 Not at all, happily... 441 00:33:24,783 --> 00:33:28,973 We did well to take the second sitting... 442 00:33:29,072 --> 00:33:31,149 ...that way we've no hurry! - Yes, no hurry... 443 00:33:31,184 --> 00:33:34,795 It's so nice here, and this fruit salad is delicious... 444 00:33:34,959 --> 00:33:37,228 Yes, truly excellent... 445 00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:44,520 I see the lady doesn't like her fruit salad. 446 00:33:44,624 --> 00:33:47,084 Not at all, she loves it, she's crazy about it! 447 00:33:47,119 --> 00:33:52,237 - Sir, do you go to Sicily often? - Yes, whenever possible! 448 00:33:52,752 --> 00:33:54,574 Does madam know Sicily? 449 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:59,437 No, she doesn't, but you're so right to take a little rest... 450 00:33:59,536 --> 00:34:01,227 I do whenever I can! 451 00:34:01,328 --> 00:34:06,991 This week I've a lot to do, I have to reorganize my library... 452 00:34:07,217 --> 00:34:10,958 Eufemia, by the way... I suggest you retire to bed... 453 00:34:10,993 --> 00:34:14,699 ...you have a busy day tomorrow. - Actually, I... 454 00:34:14,832 --> 00:34:17,767 Go, go! Our guests will excuse you... 455 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:21,641 - Goodnight, everyone! - Sweet dreams, madam. 456 00:34:21,873 --> 00:34:23,913 Sent from heaven... 457 00:34:24,433 --> 00:34:26,986 Thanks, you too... 458 00:34:29,456 --> 00:34:30,765 Bye... 459 00:34:30,961 --> 00:34:32,139 I'm so sorry... 460 00:34:32,273 --> 00:34:35,786 It was my fault, I got in the way... 461 00:34:36,305 --> 00:34:39,338 Sit, sit! 462 00:34:39,569 --> 00:34:41,357 No, don't worry... 463 00:34:41,521 --> 00:34:45,351 No, madam, I can't allow this, you're kind... 464 00:34:45,489 --> 00:34:48,784 ...I'm deeply mortified... 465 00:34:48,945 --> 00:34:52,207 ...I can't allow... 466 00:34:52,338 --> 00:34:54,028 ...well, whatever... 467 00:34:59,314 --> 00:35:01,321 I'm Honorable Pedicò's secretary. 468 00:35:01,457 --> 00:35:03,345 - A pleasure... - Not for me. 469 00:35:03,569 --> 00:35:08,206 The honorable has been given cabin 7, and me number 3. It's too far away. 470 00:35:08,338 --> 00:35:10,705 - Who's in number 6? - Let's see... 471 00:35:10,930 --> 00:35:13,711 It's Mr. Straccolone, who's also taken number 5... 472 00:35:13,746 --> 00:35:18,350 It's not a man, it's a company, and they've booked 3 people. 473 00:35:18,450 --> 00:35:20,392 So, is there a cabin free near me? 474 00:35:20,562 --> 00:35:23,311 Yes, number 1, over the wheels, which no one wants. 475 00:35:23,410 --> 00:35:25,996 - Good, put the honorable in there. - Over the wheels? 476 00:35:26,226 --> 00:35:30,252 Yes! Given we can't put him under them! 477 00:35:46,803 --> 00:35:49,224 - Guard? - Yes, madam? 478 00:35:49,363 --> 00:35:53,967 We haf seen zeese people behafing very scandal... 479 00:35:54,067 --> 00:35:57,231 - We vant to change cabin. - Fuck me, what a night! 480 00:35:57,330 --> 00:36:00,647 - I mean, I can't kick them out! - Gut, zis is very gut! 481 00:36:00,755 --> 00:36:04,301 I'll put you in cabin 7, it's a very quiet cabin. 482 00:36:04,403 --> 00:36:08,559 - Zis is peace and quiet? - Totally quiet, eternally peaceful! 483 00:36:11,539 --> 00:36:14,539 Cheers... am I wrong, or does madam never speak? 484 00:36:14,611 --> 00:36:17,294 True, she never speaks but... 485 00:36:19,348 --> 00:36:21,715 - The lady fu-fu... - "Fu" what? 486 00:36:22,035 --> 00:36:24,752 She's founded two important charitable ventures... 487 00:36:24,883 --> 00:36:28,266 ...and to make sure they succeed, she's made a vow to Saint Rocco. 488 00:36:28,499 --> 00:36:35,275 Ah, right, I forgot... a 24-hour vow of silence! 489 00:36:35,412 --> 00:36:40,049 That's very noble... I'm only sorry not to hear her voice. 490 00:36:40,179 --> 00:36:43,311 The vow ends tomorrow at noon... 491 00:36:43,956 --> 00:36:46,956 However, isn't it time we went to bed? 492 00:36:47,476 --> 00:36:51,306 - Yes, my wife is very tired. - Would you like a coffee? 493 00:36:51,412 --> 00:36:54,925 Please, if she takes coffee, she won't sleep till Christmas! 494 00:36:55,028 --> 00:36:58,410 Madam, I'm truly enchanted... 495 00:36:58,644 --> 00:37:01,743 Thank you, I'm moved by your kindness... 496 00:37:02,164 --> 00:37:04,750 She can't speak, so I translate her thoughts! 497 00:37:04,821 --> 00:37:09,043 - Goodnight... - Thank you so much. Come, dear... 498 00:37:10,036 --> 00:37:13,036 - Holy Mother of God, what a woman! - Yes, extraordinary... 499 00:37:13,141 --> 00:37:15,890 You know her well, tell me about her. 500 00:37:16,085 --> 00:37:20,395 - What kind of woman is she? - Mrs. La Noce is a saint... 501 00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:23,217 - A saint? - With all the sacrifices of a saint... 502 00:37:23,445 --> 00:37:25,714 ...but at the same time a devil! 503 00:37:25,845 --> 00:37:28,780 - In what way? - One way, straight to hell! 504 00:37:28,917 --> 00:37:31,951 - She's ca-ca... - Candid? 505 00:37:32,181 --> 00:37:35,181 - No, ca-ca... - Acat? 506 00:37:35,285 --> 00:37:37,871 - Carnal! - Aslave to her senses? 507 00:37:38,485 --> 00:37:41,649 In other words, is she "beddable"? 508 00:37:41,781 --> 00:37:46,004 Bed, folding bed, blanket... she's a nympho! 509 00:37:46,102 --> 00:37:50,412 A nymphomaniac? So what's with Saint Rocco? 510 00:37:50,613 --> 00:37:54,035 She gets sexual attacks, for hours, weeks, months... 511 00:37:54,070 --> 00:37:56,688 ...she turns you to rubber, then returns to her senses... 512 00:37:56,790 --> 00:38:00,718 ...has an attack of religious remorse, and becomes a saint! 513 00:38:01,718 --> 00:38:04,468 It's an amazingly sensual scenario! 514 00:38:05,174 --> 00:38:06,899 Holy Mother of God! 515 00:38:06,934 --> 00:38:11,952 You're an excellent organizer... let's arrange something in secret. 516 00:38:12,086 --> 00:38:14,835 - Waiter, champagne! - A great idea... 517 00:38:22,006 --> 00:38:23,827 - We're there... - Where, Sicily? 518 00:38:23,862 --> 00:38:27,310 No, with the honorable Pedicò... I've fixed everything. 519 00:38:27,446 --> 00:38:31,440 He's next door... first we get him randy as a rooster... 520 00:38:31,510 --> 00:38:34,031 ...then I go and announce I've convinced your wife. 521 00:38:34,199 --> 00:38:38,639 - A "church and home" woman? How? - By night she turns "home and horny"! 522 00:38:39,639 --> 00:38:42,224 My mind's a miracle! 523 00:38:43,895 --> 00:38:45,302 - Guard? - Uh? 524 00:38:45,430 --> 00:38:48,464 - Guard, where's my cabin? - I don't know, sir... 525 00:38:48,662 --> 00:38:51,412 - You don't know? - Ah, you're the honorable sir! 526 00:38:52,631 --> 00:38:56,788 - Not very, right now... - One too many never dishonored no one. 527 00:38:56,887 --> 00:38:59,156 - But three bottles did! - You're in number 1, sir. 528 00:38:59,383 --> 00:39:01,522 - Please, this way. - Here? 529 00:39:03,223 --> 00:39:06,867 - You'll have a great night here. - I hope so! 530 00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,637 Louder, he can't hear you! 531 00:39:12,791 --> 00:39:16,053 Yes, I like it! Give it to me... 532 00:39:16,856 --> 00:39:20,653 ...kiss me, kiss my mouth! Kiss my prick! 533 00:39:20,984 --> 00:39:23,286 Yes, yes, like that! 534 00:39:27,575 --> 00:39:31,372 Yes... who cares about the honorable... 535 00:39:31,576 --> 00:39:34,445 Great, that's great! 536 00:39:36,728 --> 00:39:39,062 You're fabulous! 537 00:39:42,777 --> 00:39:48,248 Stop that... we're here to work! Stop, you filthy pig! 538 00:39:48,283 --> 00:39:50,703 Commander, I got carried away by passion! 539 00:39:50,809 --> 00:39:52,914 You brute! 540 00:39:54,841 --> 00:39:56,629 Guard! 541 00:39:56,857 --> 00:39:58,580 What is it, ladies? 542 00:39:58,681 --> 00:40:02,423 To sleep impossible when ze man he say "my prick"! 543 00:40:02,521 --> 00:40:05,106 Zer is another who say "filthy pig"! 544 00:40:05,209 --> 00:40:08,722 My apologies, these things happen in the best sleeping cars! 545 00:40:08,856 --> 00:40:10,766 I'll put you in cabin 9. 546 00:40:11,769 --> 00:40:14,038 After this, I'm down to the engine itself. 547 00:40:14,265 --> 00:40:17,014 No worries, the man in 8 is deaf! 548 00:40:28,858 --> 00:40:32,087 Battipaglia station! 549 00:40:32,313 --> 00:40:35,412 Is anyone there? Guard! 550 00:40:38,105 --> 00:40:42,709 - Good evening... - Hi, I'm looking for a bed... 551 00:40:42,809 --> 00:40:45,744 ...don't disappoint me. - No, no, of course not... 552 00:40:46,234 --> 00:40:47,384 Here, sweetie. 553 00:40:47,513 --> 00:40:51,125 Come, it's a quiet night, we've still some beds. 554 00:40:51,226 --> 00:40:54,936 Thank you, what luck to find such a kind young man! 555 00:40:55,033 --> 00:40:57,172 Here, number 7 is free... 556 00:40:57,530 --> 00:40:59,188 Shouldn't I do something first? 557 00:40:59,418 --> 00:41:02,037 I don't know, sir, the toilets are at either end of the carriage... 558 00:41:02,266 --> 00:41:05,233 No, silly, I meant a ticket... 559 00:41:05,466 --> 00:41:09,361 - You do that with the ticket collector. - The ticket collector... 560 00:41:10,235 --> 00:41:12,624 - 'Night... - Uh, good night... 561 00:41:14,075 --> 00:41:15,252 Even on the trains! 562 00:41:15,387 --> 00:41:19,478 - Can I help, sir? - No, thanks, I'm going to the toilet... 563 00:41:21,243 --> 00:41:25,978 Ok, I leave first, warn Pedicò, and then go to my cabin... 564 00:41:26,043 --> 00:41:31,193 You wait 10 minutes, then go to cabin 7, Pedicò's... 565 00:41:31,643 --> 00:41:33,585 Hey, remember not to open your mouth... 566 00:41:33,819 --> 00:41:36,437 - Shall we synchronize watches? - Fuck off! 567 00:41:36,570 --> 00:41:38,458 It was for the sake of organization... 568 00:41:42,331 --> 00:41:44,153 Honorable, still awake? 569 00:41:45,211 --> 00:41:48,823 That champagne went to my head... 570 00:41:49,051 --> 00:41:51,986 - Do you feel sick? - I'm fine now... and the lady? 571 00:41:52,124 --> 00:41:55,157 I convinced her, she'll be in your arms shortly. 572 00:41:55,260 --> 00:42:00,017 - I can't wait. Where? - In cabin number 7... 573 00:42:00,379 --> 00:42:05,333 I'll go freshen up to be ready for her... 574 00:42:10,427 --> 00:42:11,802 Who is it? 575 00:42:12,220 --> 00:42:14,969 What are you doing? You should be in cabin 7! 576 00:42:15,100 --> 00:42:19,028 - But I like number 5... - Don't be silly, go to Pedicò! 577 00:42:19,163 --> 00:42:23,768 Who cares about Pedicò? I like you. If I had a man like you... 578 00:42:23,868 --> 00:42:26,421 I know, but leave! Go to the honorable! 579 00:42:26,524 --> 00:42:31,064 Not so fast, sweetie! When I make love... 580 00:42:31,164 --> 00:42:35,026 ...I go all the way! Otherwise I get hiccups! 581 00:42:36,541 --> 00:42:39,770 God, what melons! And what amazing thighs! 582 00:42:39,869 --> 00:42:44,124 I shouldn't boast, but back home they call me "Giovannona Long-thigh". 583 00:42:44,221 --> 00:42:49,371 Robertuzzo made me change the name... he says Coco is more refined. 584 00:42:49,917 --> 00:42:54,259 - Darling... - What are you doing... that's my nose! 585 00:43:01,629 --> 00:43:05,622 Damn! They even put handles! 586 00:43:09,693 --> 00:43:11,100 Number 3? 587 00:43:13,085 --> 00:43:16,151 What cheek, imagine if the honorable knew! 588 00:43:16,285 --> 00:43:19,319 - What? - I knew you'd come! 589 00:43:19,421 --> 00:43:23,033 That's why I left the door open! 590 00:43:23,326 --> 00:43:28,411 No, no, madam! For the love of God, stop! 591 00:43:43,102 --> 00:43:48,120 Madam, I'm moved deeply to be on my knees beside you... 592 00:43:48,190 --> 00:43:51,803 ...to express my immense admiration. 593 00:43:51,838 --> 00:43:55,482 I know you can't talk, but that doesn't matter... 594 00:43:55,582 --> 00:43:59,324 I now entrust to my hands... 595 00:43:59,422 --> 00:44:04,278 ...the task of warming you, stimulating you... 596 00:44:04,382 --> 00:44:08,605 ...until our embrace becomes a raging flood... 597 00:44:08,703 --> 00:44:13,918 ...as unstoppable and incandescent as an eruption on Etna! 598 00:44:13,953 --> 00:44:18,490 Over these shoulders, this hip... 599 00:44:18,623 --> 00:44:21,306 ...this promontory... 600 00:44:21,823 --> 00:44:23,514 ...my hands... 601 00:44:28,223 --> 00:44:30,011 Mamma! 602 00:44:31,423 --> 00:44:32,860 Help! Help! 603 00:44:32,895 --> 00:44:36,124 He's a crab! He's grabbed me like a crab! 604 00:44:38,111 --> 00:44:40,347 Get off, let me go! 605 00:44:41,696 --> 00:44:44,030 I feel sick, oh God, I feel sick! 606 00:44:47,935 --> 00:44:50,324 Help, guard, help! 607 00:44:50,495 --> 00:44:52,022 Help! 608 00:44:52,159 --> 00:44:53,948 - Listen, give me a hand... - What happened? 609 00:44:54,016 --> 00:44:56,918 - He's not a crab, he's a fag! - Afag?! 610 00:44:58,208 --> 00:45:01,721 Rocca Pizzo station! 611 00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:05,877 The Rome train for Catania-Siracusa... 612 00:45:06,016 --> 00:45:09,277 ...is arriving on platform 3. 613 00:45:13,312 --> 00:45:18,877 That's it! No discussion! You take the first plane to Rome! 614 00:45:18,976 --> 00:45:23,995 Sorry, but if I'm fired, I can stay where I want at my expense. 615 00:45:24,704 --> 00:45:28,861 A smartass, huh? Then I re-hire you, and order you back to Rome! 616 00:45:29,664 --> 00:45:31,290 - Can I take her with me? - Yes, yes... 617 00:45:31,392 --> 00:45:36,149 I wish! But Pedicò now knows her as my wife, so she has to stay. 618 00:45:36,224 --> 00:45:39,836 - Commander, let me f-f-f... - Fuck you, period! 619 00:45:39,968 --> 00:45:43,831 Let me fix things... I got her into this mess, but I'll get her out... 620 00:45:43,937 --> 00:45:45,879 Commander, where are you going? That's the shithouse! 621 00:45:46,561 --> 00:45:49,566 Enough foul language! Vanish! 622 00:45:49,601 --> 00:45:53,562 - Farewell, Coco... - What? We'll meet again! 623 00:45:54,945 --> 00:45:57,433 - Can I give him a kiss? - Are you crazy? 624 00:45:57,921 --> 00:46:01,150 - Commander! - Pedicò's coming, vanish! 625 00:46:01,313 --> 00:46:02,808 The first flight, ok? Come... 626 00:46:02,977 --> 00:46:04,127 - Bye... - Farewell, Coco! 627 00:46:04,225 --> 00:46:07,520 - Honorable... - I'm going by Rocca Pizzo... 628 00:46:07,649 --> 00:46:09,624 ...if you'd like a ride... 629 00:46:09,729 --> 00:46:11,584 Isn't your secretary coming? 630 00:46:11,682 --> 00:46:16,471 No, he has to go to Rome on urgent business. 631 00:46:37,570 --> 00:46:40,287 It was a lapse... 632 00:46:40,514 --> 00:46:43,067 Coming out of the toilet, distracted by certain thoughts... 633 00:46:43,170 --> 00:46:46,999 ...I went further down the corridor and opened the wrong door. 634 00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:49,440 Aterrifying scene! 635 00:46:50,114 --> 00:46:52,318 Why not join us for breakfast? 636 00:46:52,514 --> 00:46:55,266 It would be a pleasure. Wouldn't it, Eufemia? 637 00:46:55,301 --> 00:46:56,735 Mary would be happy too... 638 00:46:56,770 --> 00:47:01,527 Thanks, but I have business to attend... 639 00:47:01,666 --> 00:47:04,383 But we always eat late, at 2:00. 640 00:47:33,732 --> 00:47:36,252 - Did the silencer fall off your shoes? - What do you care?! 641 00:47:36,708 --> 00:47:39,937 - Do you know where Albertini lives? - There... 642 00:47:40,067 --> 00:47:41,791 ...on the second floor. 643 00:47:42,788 --> 00:47:44,544 There he is now! 644 00:47:46,756 --> 00:47:48,446 Thanks... I'll give you a tip... 645 00:47:48,580 --> 00:47:50,751 Keep the change... 646 00:47:57,700 --> 00:47:59,456 Damn that traffic warden! 647 00:47:59,556 --> 00:48:00,985 Who is he?! 648 00:48:01,476 --> 00:48:04,640 Officer Thisson... Thisson... Thisson... 649 00:48:05,028 --> 00:48:09,567 This-son-of-a-bitch must have woken up on the wrong foot! 650 00:48:14,116 --> 00:48:17,378 Welcome back! I've been waiting two days for you... 651 00:48:17,508 --> 00:48:18,915 For me? 652 00:48:19,396 --> 00:48:23,488 "Coco will be back in two days. Don't worry, Mario Albertini." 653 00:48:23,620 --> 00:48:25,409 It's even got Coco's mark... 654 00:48:25,540 --> 00:48:29,796 You're Mr. Robertuzzo. I wrote so you wouldn't worry. 655 00:48:29,892 --> 00:48:33,209 Coco gave me your ad-ad-ad... address... 656 00:48:33,316 --> 00:48:37,113 - Where's Coco? - You mean, "Kid Coconut"... 657 00:48:39,653 --> 00:48:43,581 - Let's go, people get mugged here... - That's nothing, where's Coco? 658 00:48:43,685 --> 00:48:47,034 - The la-la... - Don't sing, I get nervous! 659 00:48:47,141 --> 00:48:50,687 The lady is working on something useful for her career... 660 00:48:50,789 --> 00:48:54,564 - Right now she's in Sicily. - Ah, Sicily... 661 00:48:55,334 --> 00:48:57,057 People get mugged here all the time... 662 00:48:57,189 --> 00:48:58,978 Damn you, what's she doing in Sicily? 663 00:48:59,109 --> 00:49:01,565 I can't say, otherwise our talk will degenerate... 664 00:49:01,798 --> 00:49:04,285 Until now it's been so relaxed! 665 00:49:05,061 --> 00:49:08,706 Coco is with my boss, Commander La Noce, pretending to be his wife... 666 00:49:08,805 --> 00:49:13,116 - Why all the play acting? - So honorable Pedicò can screw her... 667 00:49:14,245 --> 00:49:16,766 There's an honorable involved? So it's a big deal! 668 00:49:16,998 --> 00:49:18,372 I guess so... 669 00:49:18,470 --> 00:49:20,772 You miserable little shit! 670 00:49:20,870 --> 00:49:24,383 You try doing business without my permission... I'll kill you! 671 00:49:24,486 --> 00:49:28,414 What lovely fingers you have! Don't waste them on a murder! 672 00:49:29,094 --> 00:49:32,193 Ok, enough for today... 673 00:49:32,327 --> 00:49:34,880 If I understood right, you said... 674 00:49:35,014 --> 00:49:37,731 ...Commander La Noce and honorable Pedicò... 675 00:49:37,862 --> 00:49:39,772 Yes, but... now what? 676 00:49:39,911 --> 00:49:41,536 I don't know... an idea will come. 677 00:49:41,638 --> 00:49:44,158 You see my head? It's a factory of ideas! 678 00:49:44,262 --> 00:49:46,531 And you see this? It's an assembly line! 679 00:49:46,631 --> 00:49:48,998 Geniuses should give each other a hand! 680 00:49:49,095 --> 00:49:52,806 - You're right! - Stop, you don't know who I am! 681 00:49:52,841 --> 00:49:56,068 - An asshole. - How did you guess?! 682 00:50:04,423 --> 00:50:06,594 Where's he going? 683 00:50:06,823 --> 00:50:11,078 I took the liberty because I was sure you'd understand, Mrs. La Noce. 684 00:50:11,207 --> 00:50:15,397 I thank you for the information, Mr. Robertuzzo... 685 00:50:15,495 --> 00:50:20,002 ...but I've stopped being interested in my husband for some time. 686 00:50:20,295 --> 00:50:23,590 Maybe I wasn't clear, Mrs. La Noce... 687 00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:26,207 - My girl does it for a "living". - A "living"? 688 00:50:26,311 --> 00:50:30,054 She goes with men... I mean... 689 00:50:30,151 --> 00:50:31,744 ...she's a slut! 690 00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:39,143 Still, I feel for her. Dealing with my husband is not pleasant... 691 00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:43,298 Madam, let's stick to the facts. Your husband has taken Coco to Sicily... 692 00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,058 ...and introduced her to honorable Pedicò. 693 00:50:45,192 --> 00:50:47,680 An honorable? Why? 694 00:50:47,784 --> 00:50:50,533 He's pretending she's his wife so Pedicò can fuck her! 695 00:50:50,632 --> 00:50:52,771 - What? - You understood perfectly... 696 00:50:52,873 --> 00:50:55,142 - What a low-life! - You've got it... 697 00:50:55,240 --> 00:50:58,055 Lord my cup is bitter! 698 00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:01,699 Madam, did you add sugar? 699 00:51:01,832 --> 00:51:05,125 He must be stopped, I'll leave immediately! 700 00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:09,267 - Mine's sweet... - I'll make him pay this time! 701 00:51:09,302 --> 00:51:13,374 I won't take planes. Is there an express to Sicily? 702 00:51:13,481 --> 00:51:17,158 No need... I wouldn't worry if I were you... 703 00:51:17,257 --> 00:51:19,678 My car is a chariot on fire! 704 00:51:19,816 --> 00:51:24,868 Ok, you take me. Come back in an hour, I'll be ready to leave! 705 00:51:25,193 --> 00:51:30,081 I'll show everyone the real Mrs. La Noce! 706 00:51:39,273 --> 00:51:42,794 - Who's that? Mrs. La Noce! - Hi, Robertuzzo... 707 00:51:42,829 --> 00:51:45,445 Hi, what a beautiful woman! 708 00:51:45,545 --> 00:51:48,480 I never imagined you hid such beauty... 709 00:51:48,617 --> 00:51:50,984 - You flatter me... - I swear! 710 00:51:51,114 --> 00:51:53,056 Strike me dead if I tell a lie... please... 711 00:51:53,225 --> 00:51:55,364 - Thanks... - Here's my fireball... hop in! 712 00:51:56,618 --> 00:51:58,789 - Hi, sorry I'm late. - I just got here myself. 713 00:51:59,017 --> 00:52:03,043 Hey, do you have to park there? Be nice! 714 00:52:04,874 --> 00:52:07,111 Actually, she's fucking nice! 715 00:52:24,586 --> 00:52:28,961 You don't say "I fucking love it", you say "I'm enchanted"! 716 00:52:29,067 --> 00:52:30,889 Can you get that, or not? Repeat... 717 00:52:30,987 --> 00:52:33,408 - "I'm enchanted". - Great! 718 00:52:33,546 --> 00:52:35,652 - How's it going? - Oh, hi, monsignor. 719 00:52:35,754 --> 00:52:38,307 - Any progress? - So-so... 720 00:52:38,411 --> 00:52:40,353 She's tries, but she's too "bullheaded". 721 00:52:40,458 --> 00:52:42,979 - You don't say "bullhead"! - What do you say? 722 00:52:43,082 --> 00:52:44,872 - "Butthead"! - We'll never make it. 723 00:52:44,907 --> 00:52:48,779 I fear you've got the wrong approach, you confuse her with slang... 724 00:52:48,814 --> 00:52:53,733 Let's see, so... you don't say "bullhead", nor "butthead". 725 00:52:53,867 --> 00:52:57,380 - You say "stubborn". - Right, I've heard that... 726 00:52:58,059 --> 00:52:59,433 "Stubborn". 727 00:52:59,531 --> 00:53:04,038 Suppose you're introduced to someone, what do you say? 728 00:53:05,100 --> 00:53:08,231 - "A pleasure to meet you". - Perfect! 729 00:53:08,523 --> 00:53:11,371 And if they invite you to stay for lunch? 730 00:53:11,499 --> 00:53:16,289 - "I hope I'm no bother". - Hear that?! She's not bad. 731 00:53:16,395 --> 00:53:20,738 Thanks, I go hoarse for an hour and you play the fresh-faced pedagogue! 732 00:53:20,844 --> 00:53:23,877 - Peda-what? - Forget it! 733 00:53:24,396 --> 00:53:26,185 Go on, tell the monsignor... 734 00:53:26,316 --> 00:53:30,789 ...what you say if Pedicò makes that proposal, that one! 735 00:53:30,956 --> 00:53:32,811 Oh, yes... 736 00:53:32,908 --> 00:53:35,013 "Honorable, go kill yourself dead!" 737 00:53:35,148 --> 00:53:38,214 No, Holy Mary! With grace and delicacy! 738 00:53:38,316 --> 00:53:40,552 Have you forgotten answer number 6? 739 00:53:42,476 --> 00:53:43,883 "You're a very fascinating man... 740 00:53:43,980 --> 00:53:46,598 ...but I come from an old family and don't have that desire". 741 00:53:46,700 --> 00:53:49,449 You get the idea? I numbered the answers... 742 00:53:49,484 --> 00:53:53,510 Now for number 7, to give him hope if he insists... 743 00:53:53,612 --> 00:53:55,652 "Don't insist, sir, I too am human... 744 00:53:55,788 --> 00:53:57,217 ...and might forget myself for a moment". 745 00:53:57,324 --> 00:54:02,595 That's a little risky... but I realize it could be useful. 746 00:54:02,733 --> 00:54:07,490 Damn, we have to go soon. Let's run over number 1. 747 00:54:07,597 --> 00:54:12,169 "Good day, please forgive us if we're disturbing your peace". 748 00:54:12,301 --> 00:54:14,985 "Heavens, it's a real pleasure." 749 00:54:18,893 --> 00:54:22,690 - We don't want to be any trouble... - Heavens, Mrs. La Noce... 750 00:54:22,797 --> 00:54:26,507 ...it's our pleasure. - Commander La Noce. 751 00:54:26,605 --> 00:54:30,150 Enchanted, you are a fount of grace and beauty... 752 00:54:30,253 --> 00:54:35,371 Thank you... would our guests prefer to be inside or in the garden... 753 00:54:35,469 --> 00:54:37,990 As you wish, we don't give a fuck... 754 00:54:38,093 --> 00:54:39,916 Number 3... 3! 755 00:54:40,013 --> 00:54:41,955 It's one o'clock, not 3. 756 00:54:42,062 --> 00:54:45,324 I'm happy either way, whatever you choose is fine... 757 00:54:45,390 --> 00:54:49,863 Carmelo... shall we enjoy the sun in the garden then? 758 00:54:49,966 --> 00:54:55,203 Sure, let's keep enjoying the day! 759 00:54:55,309 --> 00:54:59,947 With light like this we can even see Etna! 760 00:55:00,078 --> 00:55:01,452 What a beautiful day... 761 00:55:01,614 --> 00:55:02,989 Come and look... 762 00:55:48,463 --> 00:55:51,310 Let's go eat, or we'll be late for the Sicily ferry. 763 00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,130 Ok, Robertuzzo! 764 00:56:04,335 --> 00:56:06,245 Where are you going? Come here! 765 00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:09,160 Do you like that? Mummy will buy you it... 766 00:56:10,064 --> 00:56:12,207 No, no... I've already bought you that! 767 00:56:12,815 --> 00:56:15,150 No, stop, candy's bad for you... 768 00:56:22,256 --> 00:56:24,264 It's spicy! 769 00:56:25,264 --> 00:56:27,307 - He's cute! Can he talk? - If not, I'll take him back! 770 00:56:27,342 --> 00:56:29,350 - He's cute! Can he talk? - If not, I'll take him back! 771 00:56:31,056 --> 00:56:34,252 Hey, he's perfect! He can really piss! 772 00:56:34,512 --> 00:56:36,846 Are you stealing my child?! 773 00:56:36,944 --> 00:56:38,952 - What a maniac! - He seemed fake. 774 00:56:46,001 --> 00:56:47,342 Are you hurt? 775 00:56:47,473 --> 00:56:51,564 Not at all! If I don't fall, it's no fun! 776 00:56:58,993 --> 00:57:00,335 Hello. 777 00:57:02,673 --> 00:57:04,397 Here, your tip... 778 00:57:05,616 --> 00:57:07,111 Thanks. 779 00:57:13,394 --> 00:57:17,223 One day they'll put me on the 100 lira coin! 780 00:57:17,330 --> 00:57:19,680 With a nose like yours, they'll have to add a handle. Get out! 781 00:57:19,715 --> 00:57:22,030 With a nose like yours, they'll have to add a handle. Get out! 782 00:57:22,130 --> 00:57:25,807 This is my turf, give me the coin and split. Intruders get their ass kicked! 783 00:57:25,970 --> 00:57:27,120 Keep the change... 784 00:57:27,313 --> 00:57:30,543 - You're very beautiful... - Thank you. 785 00:57:30,897 --> 00:57:32,923 Awoman like you could go far, on the road... 786 00:57:32,958 --> 00:57:34,950 Awoman like you could go far, on the road... 787 00:57:35,089 --> 00:57:37,456 I don't think so, I'm lazy... 788 00:57:37,586 --> 00:57:40,881 Maybe you misunderstand. Until now you've been a slave. 789 00:57:41,010 --> 00:57:43,595 You should get a life! Make a living of it! 790 00:57:43,730 --> 00:57:47,559 - Sorry, what do you mean? - Live by it! 791 00:57:47,666 --> 00:57:49,758 If you let me guide you, I'll show you an unimaginable world... 792 00:57:49,793 --> 00:57:51,850 If you let me guide you, I'll show you an unimaginable world... 793 00:57:59,890 --> 00:58:02,015 You're much faster than Robertuzzo's car! 794 00:58:02,050 --> 00:58:04,141 You're much faster than Robertuzzo's car! 795 00:58:11,730 --> 00:58:15,527 He left us standing! You're just waste of fuel! 796 00:58:18,195 --> 00:58:20,464 The water's really hot! 797 00:58:20,595 --> 00:58:25,167 It's the first time I've seen a pool in a condom! 798 00:58:28,947 --> 00:58:30,068 Wonderful... 799 00:58:30,069 --> 00:58:31,219 Wonderful... 800 00:58:39,987 --> 00:58:42,289 I didn't know you couldn't swim... 801 00:58:42,835 --> 00:58:44,384 I had an old-style education, I don't take to it! 802 00:58:44,419 --> 00:58:45,934 I had an old-style education, I don't take to it! 803 00:58:47,060 --> 00:58:49,874 - I'll hold you underneath... - Under what? 804 00:58:50,548 --> 00:58:54,963 Your back, naturally... Relax, let yourself go. 805 00:58:54,998 --> 00:58:56,449 What a body... blessed be the water... 806 00:58:56,484 --> 00:58:57,901 What a body... blessed be the water... 807 00:58:58,003 --> 00:58:59,727 ...that embraces you! 808 00:59:03,892 --> 00:59:05,266 Very good! 809 00:59:07,380 --> 00:59:08,874 Back hand! 810 00:59:10,484 --> 00:59:12,547 Now it's my turn! Like that! 811 00:59:12,582 --> 00:59:14,610 Now it's my turn! Like that! 812 00:59:18,324 --> 00:59:20,179 Back hand! 813 00:59:21,492 --> 00:59:23,150 Marvellous... 814 00:59:25,204 --> 00:59:26,895 Excellent... 815 00:59:32,308 --> 00:59:35,756 - My ankle... - Did you twist your ankle? 816 00:59:35,892 --> 00:59:38,357 Let's hope it's nothing, lean on me... 817 00:59:40,629 --> 00:59:42,320 What a sight! 818 00:59:46,548 --> 00:59:50,705 Trust me, don't worry. Relax... 819 00:59:51,253 --> 00:59:54,113 How strange, when I was 18 I had the same accident... 820 00:59:54,148 --> 00:59:56,973 How strange, when I was 18 I had the same accident... 821 00:59:57,493 --> 01:00:02,000 My opponent began to massage me, like you're doing... 822 01:00:02,837 --> 01:00:06,132 - He was my first love. - What a strange coincidence! 823 01:00:07,029 --> 01:00:10,226 Maybe Giambattista Vico was right... 824 01:00:10,325 --> 01:00:12,240 - Was that his name? - No! 825 01:00:12,275 --> 01:00:14,156 That history course guy... 826 01:00:14,293 --> 01:00:19,247 Ah, right, the things one remembers after years. Well, not so many! 827 01:00:19,349 --> 01:00:21,827 - You're very young! - I wouldn't say very young... 828 01:00:21,862 --> 01:00:24,306 - You're very young! - I wouldn't say very young... 829 01:00:24,405 --> 01:00:26,893 Don't be immodest, with such beautiful skin... 830 01:00:26,998 --> 01:00:29,998 - Commander... - Mary, what happened? 831 01:00:30,101 --> 01:00:32,241 - Nothing, nothing! - Did you fall and hurt yourself? 832 01:00:32,276 --> 01:00:34,381 - Nothing, nothing! - Did you fall and hurt yourself? 833 01:00:34,486 --> 01:00:37,520 No, it's nothing, a twisted ankle... 834 01:00:37,654 --> 01:00:40,436 Yes, it's nothing... the commander has a golden touch. 835 01:00:40,566 --> 01:00:42,900 I didn't know you had thaumaturgic skills... 836 01:00:43,062 --> 01:00:45,331 Just some practice! 837 01:00:46,390 --> 01:00:47,348 I'm better already, darling... 838 01:00:47,349 --> 01:00:48,309 I'm better already, darling... 839 01:00:48,310 --> 01:00:50,415 I'll go and arrange dinner. 840 01:00:50,582 --> 01:00:52,917 Naturally our guests are welcome to join us... 841 01:00:53,079 --> 01:00:55,861 Yes, a great idea... 842 01:00:55,959 --> 01:00:59,341 - We wouldn'twant to trouble you. - It's no trouble! 843 01:00:59,543 --> 01:01:02,548 - In fact, they could stay the night. - Maybe they'll be uncomfortable. 844 01:01:02,583 --> 01:01:05,553 - In fact, they could stay the night. - Maybe they'll be uncomfortable. 845 01:01:05,686 --> 01:01:08,982 There's the guest room, which is always better than a hotel! 846 01:01:09,079 --> 01:01:13,040 Yes, she's right. They'll be just fine... 847 01:01:13,175 --> 01:01:17,103 The guest room, now there's a solution! 848 01:01:23,127 --> 01:01:27,317 Go on, you brute! You guzzle gas, then quit on me! 849 01:01:27,415 --> 01:01:28,565 Are you hungover, or what? 850 01:01:28,598 --> 01:01:29,748 Are you hungover, or what? 851 01:01:31,447 --> 01:01:33,935 Can't you see your car's smoking? 852 01:01:34,071 --> 01:01:37,486 She's got all the vices, this mechanic's harlot! 853 01:01:46,807 --> 01:01:50,255 White smoke... 'habemus papa'! 854 01:01:54,008 --> 01:01:55,917 'Habemus' seized engine! 855 01:02:03,256 --> 01:02:04,406 Marta? 856 01:02:05,432 --> 01:02:07,025 Hey, Marta! 857 01:02:08,344 --> 01:02:10,022 What are you doing? My driving exhausted you! 858 01:02:10,057 --> 01:02:11,700 What are you doing? My driving exhausted you! 859 01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:13,494 Yes, a little... 860 01:02:13,625 --> 01:02:16,941 Since the ferry leaves tomorrow morning, we'll wait here. 861 01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:20,342 We'll get something to eat, then get some sleep! 862 01:02:20,472 --> 01:02:23,123 Yes, I'm as hungry as a wolf! 863 01:02:24,344 --> 01:02:26,231 A she-wolf! 864 01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:28,568 Hungry, huh? 865 01:02:29,656 --> 01:02:33,169 Go Robertuzzo, do your worst, this is a great opportunityy! 866 01:02:33,305 --> 01:02:34,799 Here I am, darling! 867 01:02:35,033 --> 01:02:36,388 - This is my bedroom. - Is it? 868 01:02:36,423 --> 01:02:37,744 - This is my bedroom. - Is it? 869 01:02:37,913 --> 01:02:39,636 I always sleep alone... 870 01:02:39,833 --> 01:02:44,273 I sleep alone, my husband has an awful habit of snoring. 871 01:02:44,377 --> 01:02:48,949 - Aren't you scared? - Yes, by every little noise... 872 01:02:49,145 --> 01:02:51,047 And the night is long when spent alone... 873 01:02:51,082 --> 01:02:52,950 And the night is long when spent alone... 874 01:02:53,081 --> 01:02:54,870 You're telling me... 875 01:02:55,001 --> 01:02:57,587 What? But you have a beautiful wife! 876 01:02:57,817 --> 01:03:01,200 She won't talk to me, my wife is frigid... frozen! 877 01:03:01,337 --> 01:03:02,864 - Mary? - Yes? 878 01:03:03,194 --> 01:03:04,999 The commander must be tired, we should let him rest... 879 01:03:05,034 --> 01:03:06,805 The commander must be tired, we should let him rest... 880 01:03:07,034 --> 01:03:10,001 We were saying... the commander asked... 881 01:03:10,106 --> 01:03:14,067 ...if tomorrow a trip to Etna would be possible. 882 01:03:14,202 --> 01:03:15,446 - Etna? - Yes. 883 01:03:15,610 --> 01:03:17,268 With gusto! 884 01:03:17,530 --> 01:03:18,664 - Goodnight dear... - Goodnight madam, and thank you... 885 01:03:18,665 --> 01:03:19,815 - Goodnight dear... - Goodnight madam, and thank you... 886 01:03:22,778 --> 01:03:24,567 Goodnight, Mary... 887 01:03:28,922 --> 01:03:30,329 Coco? 888 01:03:30,874 --> 01:03:31,835 What's up now? 889 01:03:31,836 --> 01:03:32,825 What's up now? 890 01:03:32,826 --> 01:03:38,423 What's up? It's night, we're in bed... you're a woman and I'm a man. 891 01:03:38,715 --> 01:03:39,959 Oof... 892 01:03:40,090 --> 01:03:45,524 Coco, if you're getting nowhere with the honorable, at least comfort me! 893 01:03:45,754 --> 01:03:47,624 - Forget it, I'm tired! - You can't do that! 894 01:03:47,659 --> 01:03:49,495 - Forget it, I'm tired! - You can't do that! 895 01:03:49,594 --> 01:03:51,569 I don't want to do anything! 896 01:03:52,251 --> 01:03:57,139 - But it's ridiculous to sleep. - Have a heart attack! 897 01:03:57,243 --> 01:04:00,603 You've kept me awake for two nights now! 898 01:04:00,638 --> 01:04:03,963 You've kept me awake for two nights now! 899 01:04:03,998 --> 01:04:05,752 Maybe a coffee... 900 01:04:16,123 --> 01:04:17,814 Where's that skunk going? 901 01:04:23,132 --> 01:04:24,823 Well... maybe... 902 01:04:31,452 --> 01:04:34,321 Of course, I'll bring it to your room in a moment! 903 01:04:34,555 --> 01:04:38,516 - Thank you, you're very kind... - Oh, it's nothing! 904 01:04:41,531 --> 01:04:44,117 - Matilde! - What is it tonight? 905 01:04:44,220 --> 01:04:47,089 - What did our guest want? - Acoffee. 906 01:04:47,228 --> 01:04:50,905 - Ah, he's getting ready. - Shall I make it? 907 01:04:51,036 --> 01:04:55,164 Sure... and go get my tranquillizers. 908 01:04:59,580 --> 01:05:05,331 There... a couple of sleeping pills... 909 01:05:07,837 --> 01:05:10,839 That'll put him to sleep, and I can play "Decameron" games! 910 01:05:10,874 --> 01:05:13,842 That'll put him to sleep, and I can play "Decameron" games! 911 01:05:16,317 --> 01:05:17,843 Come! 912 01:05:20,925 --> 01:05:22,455 - It's sugared. - Thanks. 913 01:05:22,490 --> 01:05:23,986 - It's sugared. - Thanks. 914 01:05:27,549 --> 01:05:30,200 Coco, wake up! 915 01:05:30,909 --> 01:05:32,919 - Coffee... - What? 916 01:05:32,954 --> 01:05:34,930 Is it time to get up? 917 01:05:35,069 --> 01:05:37,432 No, stay in bed, we're going to do a little exercise... 918 01:05:37,467 --> 01:05:39,795 No, stay in bed, we're going to do a little exercise... 919 01:05:40,157 --> 01:05:44,598 Drink, little one... Nice? 920 01:05:45,886 --> 01:05:48,057 Disgusting! 921 01:05:49,470 --> 01:05:51,548 Coco, stop playing around! Don't be a fool! 922 01:05:51,583 --> 01:05:53,626 Coco, stop playing around! Don't be a fool! 923 01:05:54,205 --> 01:05:56,627 What's got into you? 924 01:05:56,734 --> 01:06:00,378 How can a woman like you not have blood in her veins? 925 01:06:02,654 --> 01:06:03,326 Coco? 926 01:06:03,327 --> 01:06:04,477 Coco? 927 01:06:05,214 --> 01:06:10,265 Albertini brought me the mummy of Ramses II! 928 01:06:26,046 --> 01:06:27,388 Commander? 929 01:06:27,582 --> 01:06:31,007 Commander... were you taking advantage of an honorable's wife? 930 01:06:31,519 --> 01:06:33,461 Sleep, cuckold! 931 01:06:34,270 --> 01:06:36,889 What a fabulous woman! 932 01:06:38,366 --> 01:06:41,301 Madam? Madam! 933 01:06:41,919 --> 01:06:43,868 It's Pedicò! Your husband's asleep... 934 01:06:43,903 --> 01:06:45,817 It's Pedicò! Your husband's asleep... 935 01:06:46,686 --> 01:06:49,654 Shall we proceed? 936 01:06:53,471 --> 01:06:58,783 You made a vow, huh? I don't like vows... 937 01:07:01,375 --> 01:07:08,565 What a woman! How can you sleep next to this fat-assed pachyderm! 938 01:07:13,279 --> 01:07:15,451 Is the cuckold upset? 939 01:07:15,968 --> 01:07:21,434 Come, I'll take you to my room. Don't worry, I'll handle it... 940 01:07:21,663 --> 01:07:24,511 Come with me... 941 01:07:38,623 --> 01:07:40,663 Holy Mother! 942 01:07:40,832 --> 01:07:43,582 Madam... madam! 943 01:07:44,704 --> 01:07:46,591 What a beautiful woman! 944 01:07:48,032 --> 01:07:49,461 - Who is it? - Me. 945 01:07:49,696 --> 01:07:51,998 - What do you want? - Open, I'm scared! 946 01:07:52,096 --> 01:07:53,689 Scared of what? 947 01:07:53,792 --> 01:07:56,410 Oh God, Carmelo! The ghosts! 948 01:07:56,897 --> 01:07:58,936 Now it's ghosts! 949 01:08:00,129 --> 01:08:02,103 - One moment! - The ghosts! 950 01:08:02,592 --> 01:08:04,894 Open Carmelo, there are ghosts! 951 01:08:05,056 --> 01:08:06,747 One moment! 952 01:08:07,105 --> 01:08:09,974 Carmelo, let me in! 953 01:08:10,241 --> 01:08:12,477 What's got into her? 954 01:08:13,825 --> 01:08:17,502 - What is it? - I'm scared, I heard noises. 955 01:08:17,632 --> 01:08:21,942 I saw ghosts in the garden. Let me stay. I'll be quiet! 956 01:08:22,081 --> 01:08:25,463 - Carmelo, please! - Damn those ghosts! 957 01:08:43,809 --> 01:08:46,013 I'LL WAIT FOR YOU IN MY ROOM AT MIDNIGHT 958 01:08:47,074 --> 01:08:51,776 Now we'll see who's a cuckold, dear Pedicò! 959 01:08:57,953 --> 01:09:02,525 No one stops. Maybe they think I've hurt my thumb? 960 01:09:06,754 --> 01:09:09,820 Come, young man... have you been waiting long? 961 01:09:09,923 --> 01:09:13,338 No, I was a child when I got here! 962 01:09:13,826 --> 01:09:14,976 Hop in, quick! 963 01:09:15,075 --> 01:09:17,944 - Thanks... - Buckle up, we're off! 964 01:09:20,162 --> 01:09:22,072 Ready, go! 965 01:09:30,402 --> 01:09:33,071 - This car's fast, you know? - Right. 966 01:09:33,106 --> 01:09:35,741 - Where are you going? - Catania. 967 01:09:35,811 --> 01:09:38,974 Perfect, I'm going to Sicily too! 968 01:09:39,619 --> 01:09:42,652 Listen to that amazing engine? And get the interior! 969 01:09:42,755 --> 01:09:46,846 Carpet, air conditioning, a top-end stereo! 970 01:09:46,947 --> 01:09:48,954 Put the radio on! 971 01:09:51,075 --> 01:09:54,555 Intense traffic has blocked Highway 213... 972 01:09:54,723 --> 01:09:57,374 ...and thick fog is reported on mountain stretches. 973 01:09:59,140 --> 01:10:03,296 Hold tight, we're taking off! 974 01:10:11,012 --> 01:10:15,840 Attention all drivers... 975 01:10:15,875 --> 01:10:21,178 Police are looking for a Maserati, stolen one hour ago in Naples. 976 01:10:21,348 --> 01:10:25,603 The thief is an escapee from a mental clinic. 977 01:10:25,700 --> 01:10:28,034 He is believed dangerous... 978 01:10:28,196 --> 01:10:33,466 ...because he's also half blind. We end this news report here. 979 01:10:33,860 --> 01:10:36,926 We return to our light music program. 980 01:10:37,412 --> 01:10:40,511 Did you turn the wipers on? They've got two speeds. 981 01:10:58,916 --> 01:11:00,323 Fantastic, no? 982 01:11:10,245 --> 01:11:12,612 - Who's that? - My grandpa! 983 01:11:14,501 --> 01:11:17,884 Are you sure this engine's so fabulous? 984 01:11:22,437 --> 01:11:27,140 You're right, young man... at 150mph the spark plugs exploded! 985 01:11:27,365 --> 01:11:30,464 No, it was me... I was shitting my pants! 986 01:11:39,878 --> 01:11:42,398 - Where are you going? - To the bathroom, for a pee... 987 01:11:42,534 --> 01:11:44,290 - You can't. - Why not? 988 01:11:44,422 --> 01:11:46,849 I need to go first, I'm bursting to pee... 989 01:11:46,884 --> 01:11:49,276 - I'm bursting too! - But I'm an honorable! 990 01:11:49,414 --> 01:11:51,105 Of course, your excellency! 991 01:12:00,614 --> 01:12:03,265 Christ, she's heavy! 992 01:12:03,750 --> 01:12:07,547 After all this effort, should I fuck her twwice? 993 01:12:11,686 --> 01:12:15,331 Madam, no one will disturb you here, this is my wife's room... 994 01:12:15,463 --> 01:12:17,186 I'll be right back... 995 01:12:17,767 --> 01:12:21,661 Madam Mary, I got your message... 996 01:12:21,990 --> 01:12:26,082 It's midnight... madam? I can't see anyone here... 997 01:12:27,590 --> 01:12:28,801 Coco! 998 01:12:30,375 --> 01:12:33,506 What happened? What did that pig do to you? 999 01:12:34,151 --> 01:12:37,828 What happened? You're frozen, what did he do to you? 1000 01:12:40,487 --> 01:12:42,980 - Oh, mercy! - Madam, it's me, La Noce... 1001 01:12:43,015 --> 01:12:47,041 Are you crazy? If my husband sees us he'll shoot you! 1002 01:12:47,271 --> 01:12:51,200 Ok, but not that way, I'm safer leaving by the window... 1003 01:12:51,303 --> 01:12:53,638 Just go, please! I beg you! 1004 01:12:54,439 --> 01:12:57,123 - Mary, what are you doing here? - Who is it?! 1005 01:12:58,215 --> 01:13:02,110 I was going to my bathroom, you were taking ages! 1006 01:13:02,567 --> 01:13:05,884 - Really? - Absolutely, Carmelo... come. 1007 01:13:05,991 --> 01:13:09,985 Go on, the bathroom will be free all night. Get inside. 1008 01:13:30,984 --> 01:13:36,003 A MAN LEFT BY THE WINDOW OF YOUR WIFE'S ROOM. YOU'RE A CUCKOLD! 1009 01:13:38,792 --> 01:13:40,832 I'll make him pay for this! 1010 01:13:43,977 --> 01:13:48,133 Stop joking, Coco, answer me! There'll be hell to pay if you die! 1011 01:13:48,361 --> 01:13:51,557 For a girl like you, it would be criminal! 1012 01:13:51,913 --> 01:13:56,037 Coco, answer me! Be good, just one word... 1013 01:13:57,417 --> 01:14:01,727 - Commander... - Thank you, God! 1014 01:14:01,833 --> 01:14:05,728 ...fuck off. - It's ok, thanks anyway. 1015 01:14:38,954 --> 01:14:40,864 Take that! 1016 01:14:46,154 --> 01:14:49,700 Carmelo! You know I don't like it when you get rough! 1017 01:15:20,811 --> 01:15:23,778 I'm full! An empty one is coming behind... 1018 01:15:31,723 --> 01:15:33,446 Hey, want a ride? 1019 01:15:33,643 --> 01:15:38,051 Ok, but you'll have to get in back with the flowers. 1020 01:15:38,443 --> 01:15:39,970 - What, in the back? - Yes, why? 1021 01:15:40,075 --> 01:15:41,513 Where the corpse goes? 1022 01:15:41,548 --> 01:15:46,469 - No one else has claimed it... - But someone might. 1023 01:15:46,604 --> 01:15:49,124 - Who said so? - The newspaper. 1024 01:15:49,900 --> 01:15:52,966 "Five claimed dead in crash", it said. 1025 01:15:54,284 --> 01:15:59,145 - Go on, slowly... good. - I hurt everywhere. 1026 01:15:59,180 --> 01:16:04,231 I can't even touch myself for luck. Would you mind giving me a scratch? 1027 01:16:08,204 --> 01:16:09,895 Go, Nicola! 1028 01:16:18,412 --> 01:16:21,827 Kitty, beware the big cat! Good day, madam... 1029 01:16:22,316 --> 01:16:24,869 - Good day, honorable. - You're a marvellous woman. 1030 01:16:25,005 --> 01:16:29,096 - Thanks... - I'd do anything for you. 1031 01:16:29,228 --> 01:16:31,913 Please, I wouldn't want to trouble you... 1032 01:16:31,948 --> 01:16:34,850 I'm sorry about last night, but I'm kept under strict control... 1033 01:16:34,989 --> 01:16:36,898 My wife is a very jealous woman... 1034 01:16:37,037 --> 01:16:39,787 - By the way, have you seen her around? - Yes, earlier... 1035 01:16:39,885 --> 01:16:42,951 ...then they went for a hike on the mountain. 1036 01:16:43,085 --> 01:16:47,213 They've gone already? She's alone with your husband? 1037 01:16:47,248 --> 01:16:49,864 - And no one else? - No one... 1038 01:16:49,997 --> 01:16:55,910 - Aren't you jealous of your husband? - I'm a human being too! 1039 01:16:56,045 --> 01:16:59,820 We're all human, but aren't you scared something might happen? 1040 01:16:59,949 --> 01:17:03,113 Well, my husband's "just smoke" these days... 1041 01:17:03,245 --> 01:17:06,148 Wonderful! His gun's stopped firing! 1042 01:17:07,437 --> 01:17:10,405 With me you'll feel you're on the front line! 1043 01:17:26,862 --> 01:17:28,717 The lava reached here in '71. 1044 01:17:28,878 --> 01:17:32,107 Craters can erupt when you least expect it... 1045 01:17:32,238 --> 01:17:34,693 It sounds dangerous! 1046 01:17:34,926 --> 01:17:38,620 In fact, my husband never comes here, he's scared! 1047 01:17:38,655 --> 01:17:42,315 As a child, he very nearly died in an eruption... 1048 01:17:42,606 --> 01:17:43,915 Are you scared? 1049 01:17:44,046 --> 01:17:46,763 With a woman like you, I'm only scared of myself... 1050 01:17:46,863 --> 01:17:48,870 Commander, what are you saying? 1051 01:17:48,975 --> 01:17:50,763 Delinquent! 1052 01:17:51,982 --> 01:17:54,949 Walking on these stones isn't easy... 1053 01:17:55,055 --> 01:17:58,404 But don't you love this Dantesque scene? 1054 01:17:58,543 --> 01:18:01,161 I have inner fires of my own! 1055 01:18:13,999 --> 01:18:16,520 - What are you looking at? - I heard a noise... 1056 01:18:16,623 --> 01:18:18,827 ...who knows what it was, I can't see anything! 1057 01:18:18,991 --> 01:18:23,628 - Are you sure you can't see anything? - Madam, you'll catch a cold! 1058 01:18:23,727 --> 01:18:28,005 - Then warm me! - Yes, I'll set you on fire! 1059 01:18:28,463 --> 01:18:30,350 Not like that, madam! 1060 01:18:31,951 --> 01:18:33,609 An eruption! 1061 01:18:34,960 --> 01:18:36,454 Help! 1062 01:18:37,519 --> 01:18:41,033 Forgive me, Lord, if I have sinned! Go away! 1063 01:18:41,136 --> 01:18:46,439 Are you leaving me in this hell?! Wait, madam! 1064 01:18:49,872 --> 01:18:52,774 I'm a "respectable" woman! 1065 01:18:54,352 --> 01:18:58,443 Go away! I'm a "respectable woman"! 1066 01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:00,775 Stop, wait! 1067 01:19:15,312 --> 01:19:19,241 - Ok, goodbye! - I hope not! 1068 01:19:25,489 --> 01:19:28,526 Hi, Coco! Where's the commander? 1069 01:19:28,561 --> 01:19:31,856 - On the vulcano! - What, "he couldn't say no"? 1070 01:19:31,891 --> 01:19:35,152 - On the vulcano! - Oh, "he lost his halo"! 1071 01:19:35,281 --> 01:19:39,788 Wait... blowing this up sure must take a lot of puff! 1072 01:19:40,081 --> 01:19:42,154 What happened, did they make you mayor? 1073 01:19:42,385 --> 01:19:44,654 No, I got a ride with the undertaker! 1074 01:19:44,817 --> 01:19:47,632 How are you, my friend? How lovely to see you! 1075 01:19:49,681 --> 01:19:53,129 Help, save him! 1076 01:19:53,234 --> 01:19:54,543 - He's resurfaced! - Help! 1077 01:19:54,706 --> 01:19:58,088 - I can't swim! - Leave it to me, madam! 1078 01:19:58,322 --> 01:19:59,696 Hold on! 1079 01:20:01,906 --> 01:20:03,913 Come on! Here... 1080 01:20:04,306 --> 01:20:05,964 Come on, up... 1081 01:20:07,953 --> 01:20:10,506 Not like that, you'll snap his neck! 1082 01:20:19,154 --> 01:20:21,423 What a villa! Is anyone home? 1083 01:20:22,130 --> 01:20:23,537 He's alive! 1084 01:20:25,523 --> 01:20:28,872 - The commander... - What do you mean? Explain! 1085 01:20:30,962 --> 01:20:33,483 Let me go, Marta, I'm going to kill someone! 1086 01:20:33,682 --> 01:20:37,195 - Are you spying on me?! - What? I can't hear you! 1087 01:20:42,451 --> 01:20:45,004 Bitch! Is this a vacation, or something? 1088 01:20:45,138 --> 01:20:47,593 I take what fucking vacation I feel like! I'm a free woman! 1089 01:20:47,699 --> 01:20:52,685 No, you do what I tell you! You owe me respect! 1090 01:20:52,787 --> 01:20:55,820 It's me who defends you from being exploited! 1091 01:20:59,539 --> 01:21:03,946 Quick, my husband will be worried! He'll make a scene! 1092 01:21:04,051 --> 01:21:07,400 Don't run, take pity on my foot! 1093 01:21:08,339 --> 01:21:11,121 If you want to be a slut, you have to take it seriously! 1094 01:21:11,252 --> 01:21:13,772 The only slut around here is your sister! 1095 01:21:15,348 --> 01:21:17,933 - How dare you? - What do you want?! 1096 01:21:18,035 --> 01:21:20,817 How dare you raise your voice to a lady! 1097 01:21:20,915 --> 01:21:25,007 - Who the fuck are you? - I'm the fucking master of this house! 1098 01:21:25,171 --> 01:21:28,106 Go fuck yourself, you fucking chatterbox! 1099 01:21:31,604 --> 01:21:33,993 Fuck! You don't know who I am! 1100 01:21:34,132 --> 01:21:35,506 Oh my foot! 1101 01:21:35,828 --> 01:21:37,289 Move your ass! 1102 01:21:38,676 --> 01:21:42,735 Marta, how come you're here? And dressed like that? 1103 01:21:42,868 --> 01:21:47,407 - I came to meet your lover. - How dare you, I demand an apology! 1104 01:21:47,637 --> 01:21:48,880 Here! 1105 01:21:49,428 --> 01:21:51,501 - Fetusa! - You bitch! 1106 01:21:51,668 --> 01:21:53,556 What are you doing? Stop it! 1107 01:21:55,572 --> 01:21:58,736 Albertini, darling, what did they do to you! 1108 01:21:58,997 --> 01:22:01,812 Enough, you're ladies! 1109 01:22:04,661 --> 01:22:07,083 Ladies, calm down! This is a respectable house! 1110 01:22:07,252 --> 01:22:09,325 Shut up, you old whoremonger! 1111 01:22:09,428 --> 01:22:11,632 Marta, please, try to understand! 1112 01:22:11,829 --> 01:22:13,455 It's a question of business! 1113 01:22:13,557 --> 01:22:17,169 I did it to save you from this skunk! 1114 01:22:17,397 --> 01:22:20,267 He preys on men's wives, so I brought him a fake wife. 1115 01:22:20,373 --> 01:22:22,795 How dare you speak like that! 1116 01:22:23,413 --> 01:22:25,322 Help! Help! 1117 01:22:25,845 --> 01:22:29,871 - Madam, I'm coming! - It was him! 1118 01:22:30,709 --> 01:22:34,506 Let him go, I'll deal with him! 1119 01:23:26,678 --> 01:23:29,875 This is a kidnapping, I'll see you jailed! 1120 01:23:30,103 --> 01:23:31,380 - What's that? - Atranquillizer. 1121 01:23:31,415 --> 01:23:34,928 I don't want to be tranquillized, I'm a free citizen! 1122 01:23:35,062 --> 01:23:38,892 What's broken, doctor? 1123 01:23:39,351 --> 01:23:41,620 Can't you talk? Are you dumb? 1124 01:23:41,751 --> 01:23:44,533 Trust me to land the dumb doctor! 1125 01:23:44,662 --> 01:23:47,637 I'll make sure you pay for all this! 1126 01:23:47,672 --> 01:23:50,613 Hear that? You'll pay all damages! 1127 01:23:50,967 --> 01:23:55,190 - Who, me? - Let him be, he's in shock! 1128 01:23:55,703 --> 01:23:58,453 I'm the victim of a diabolical plot! 1129 01:23:58,552 --> 01:24:02,065 - Shut up, you prince of shit! - How dare you be informal? 1130 01:24:02,167 --> 01:24:04,589 You, sir, are a prince of shit! 1131 01:24:04,695 --> 01:24:07,281 - And a cuckold! - That's slander, I've done nothing! 1132 01:24:07,384 --> 01:24:10,035 Maybe, but he deserves to be a cuckold, and so do you! 1133 01:24:10,551 --> 01:24:13,901 What fucking language is this?! Respect the fucking nun, please! 1134 01:24:14,040 --> 01:24:16,789 - May peace be with you... - And with you too... 1135 01:24:17,016 --> 01:24:19,605 You're all reunited... How are you, my son? 1136 01:24:19,640 --> 01:24:22,542 - Fine, compared to my uncle. - How's your uncle? 1137 01:24:22,680 --> 01:24:23,830 He's dead! 1138 01:24:23,832 --> 01:24:26,385 I don't want no fucking sedatives! 1139 01:24:26,488 --> 01:24:30,645 - I don't know him... - No one knows me! 1140 01:24:30,744 --> 01:24:35,632 Tomorrow, you'll find a certain story in the newspaper... 1141 01:24:35,768 --> 01:24:39,249 Would you like to hear a little preview? 1142 01:24:39,384 --> 01:24:44,119 "Once upon a time, an industrialist, after polluting a river... 1143 01:24:44,217 --> 01:24:50,960 ...with his stinking factory, sought help from an honorable... 1144 01:24:51,064 --> 01:24:55,123 ...who I won't name, but will indicate with a nose!" 1145 01:25:05,209 --> 01:25:06,769 Thank you... 1146 01:25:06,872 --> 01:25:11,826 In this dovetailing of social needs and industrial development... 1147 01:25:11,993 --> 01:25:14,895 ...Commander La Noce, who you all know... 1148 01:25:15,769 --> 01:25:21,617 ...and Honorable Pedicò, assisting in the political arena... 1149 01:25:21,881 --> 01:25:27,737 ...have succeeded in saving a key source of Italian employment... 1150 01:25:27,772 --> 01:25:31,053 ...the Straccolone Company, whose products... 1151 01:25:31,866 --> 01:25:34,517 ...are now being sold abroad! 1152 01:25:37,497 --> 01:25:40,497 He's a secretary with flair, not like that moron Albertini! 1153 01:25:40,666 --> 01:25:45,041 - He's so intelligent! - So resourceful... 1154 01:25:53,082 --> 01:25:57,654 Can't you understand? Night shifts are better than days! 1155 01:25:57,754 --> 01:26:01,103 - In what sense? - The night shift pays more! 1156 01:26:01,242 --> 01:26:03,314 And you only work 5 hours! 1157 01:26:03,546 --> 01:26:07,447 Plus you can use your daytime hours... 1158 01:26:07,482 --> 01:26:10,799 It's delicate... I have to think about it... 1159 01:26:10,938 --> 01:26:13,272 There's nothing to discuss, I fear no one... 1160 01:26:13,434 --> 01:26:15,322 What I want, I get! 1161 01:26:15,419 --> 01:26:19,313 I've decided to work nights, and work nights I will, ok?! 1162 01:26:19,482 --> 01:26:21,009 Ok... 1163 01:26:31,739 --> 01:26:34,292 - Bye... - Enjoy. 1164 01:26:35,611 --> 01:26:37,913 It's totally dead tonight... 1165 01:26:38,107 --> 01:26:40,660 - I've only done twwo cars... - Lucky you! 1166 01:26:40,891 --> 01:26:42,899 Who's this princess? 1167 01:26:43,931 --> 01:26:45,368 What does she want?! 1168 01:26:45,403 --> 01:26:48,632 - You're off-limits! - Idiot! 1169 01:26:48,731 --> 01:26:51,797 Look who's talking! 1170 01:26:52,699 --> 01:26:56,376 - Take a hike, or else! - Yeah, move it! 1171 01:26:56,796 --> 01:26:59,185 What the fuck do you want from me?! 1172 01:27:01,436 --> 01:27:05,876 I'll teach you! You bitches! 1173 01:27:21,820 --> 01:27:24,276 What's all this shit? 1174 01:27:26,269 --> 01:27:28,472 And who's he? 1175 01:27:28,572 --> 01:27:33,493 Listen daddy, this is Franceschino's turf! 1176 01:27:33,724 --> 01:27:37,816 Franceschino? Who's Franceschino? 1177 01:27:38,045 --> 01:27:44,340 Who the fuck is Franceschino? Who is he?! 1178 01:27:45,725 --> 01:27:49,020 Frankie, show yourself... 1179 01:28:52,574 --> 01:28:56,087 - Franceschino, don't hurt me! - Fuck off! 1180 01:28:56,830 --> 01:28:58,107 No! 1181 01:29:04,670 --> 01:29:07,769 Franceschino, you killed him! 1182 01:29:09,247 --> 01:29:10,654 Come on... 1183 01:29:11,551 --> 01:29:14,813 Did you get the licence number? 1184 01:29:15,262 --> 01:29:17,270 Come on, darling, come... 1185 01:29:29,023 --> 01:29:34,141 THE END 1186 01:29:53,856 --> 01:29:56,311 THIS FILM IS A WORK OF FICTION. 1187 01:29:56,480 --> 01:29:59,163 WE'RE SORRY IF THERE IS ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REAL PEOPLE OR INCIDENTS.